

Prompt / Lyrics
[Verse 1] I woke up in November In a factory line Somebody stamped “For Grandma” Right across my behind They folded me in cardboard Like a burrito of joy I used to have ambitions Now I’m “Suitable for ages 3+ boy” [Pre-Chorus] Got a bow on my ego Price tag on my pride I’m fragile and festive And mildly terrified [Chorus] I’m a Christmas present, help, I can’t move Been stuck under this tree since half past noon All I see is pine and a cat that stares Kid, just pick me first so I know you care I’m a Christmas present, this is my fate Please don’t fake a smile and ask for the receipt too late [Verse 2] I’ve heard all of the gossip From the stockings above Socks say they’re essential Scarf says she’s “self-care love” The candle thinks she’s artsy Board game thinks he’s deep I’m plastic, bright, and noisy And I just want eight hours of sleep [Pre-Chorus] Your aunt wrapped me sideways Your dad shook me twice Your dog licked my corner I did not consent to that life [Chorus] I’m a Christmas present, help, I can’t move Been stuck under this tree since half past noon All I see is pine and a cat that stares Kid, just pick me first so I know you care I’m a Christmas present, this is my fate Please don’t trade me off for store credit and hate [Bridge] Maybe I’ll be your favorite thing For like… three whole days (wow) Then I’ll live behind the sofa In the land of strays But for one bright morning When the paper flies I’ll be center stage in your sleepy eyes (hey!) [Chorus] I’m a Christmas present, help, I can’t move Been stuck under this tree since half past noon All I see is pine and a cat that stares Kid, just pick me first so I know you care I’m a Christmas present, let’s make a deal You give me your laughter, I’ll pretend I’m real
Tags
Bouncy acoustic pop with sleigh-bell sparkle and goofy male vocals; tight verses over strummy guitar and upright bass, pre-chorus adds handclaps and tambourine, chorus explodes with gang vocals and glockenspiel hits; playful stop-start breaks for punchlines, big tag ending with crowd-style sing-along, comedy
2:59
No
4/15/2026