[ominous drone]
[Spoken word]
Today was practice you see
It was just me, Donner
and blitzen just us three...
We strapped in the rains
blitzen always complains
the straps are too tight
But it didn't make a difference tonight...
We came around the corner..
we came around the bend ...
The little old lady ...
we knew we were
going to offend ...
But we didn't care
She was just
standing there kind of
looking like she was
in her underwear.
As The stories host
I know better than
most because I was
the one that chose to
run that bitch over
and give her the hose.
It was for all the times
that the cousins of mine
jumped in the road
got hit and flipped
Got sliced and diced
made with green
beans, bacon and rice
and all the things
that should make
Sunday dinner nice.
So I trampled her ass
I told the boys we were
going to make second pass.....
This time I would make
her life not last
I made sure I stepped
on her foot ,ankle,
hip and shoulder.
I was going to break
them all because
she was a bit older.
The second pass was
done and to my surprise
I thought we were just
going to pass her by
She reached up between my thighs
Grab me by my balls
like she was trying to guess the size.
Now that bitch didn't play
She knew what she
was doing and she
started to say....
I ain't playing your
reindeer games and I sure as hell
Ain't listening to you complain.
I'll rip your nuts off cuz I'm insane
Just test me Rudolph this ain't no game.
I looked her up
I looked her down
I looked her all around
I said bitch listen here
Let me make something vitally clear.
You ain't got no power here
Other than your hand on my nuts
All of us are in the rut.
I know you're old and
musty and that cooter
you got is mighty Dusty.
There's no tear coming
to my eye because
you're just about to die
That blood flow out your big toe
That I stepped on as we passed by
Your nose is lopped
off and ears are gone
You like Mr potato
Head that forgot to respawn..
With her hip crashed
and her body smashed
And losing blood right now ....
She was still alive
I don't know how..
When in time it did pass
she started bleeding out her ass
And finally died in the snow.
Rudolph for the win or the big old Grin Rudolph with the win and a big old Grin
You mess with me will be two bitches in a tree
