Bad thoughts

Life full of bad thoughts, still I bounce back,Whole script dipped in hate, but I don’t sound mad,Heart full of love, still I can’t seem glad,Smile stitched tight, but the soul split bad,Yeah, I bounce back,Yeah, I bounce back,Hate on the page, but I don’t swing back,Love in my chest, but I don’t feel jack

Head full of vultures, circlin’ my skull plate,Halo made of rust, bend it outta shape,Tongue talk peace, brain loadin’ war games,Mirror show a corpse wearin’ all my old names,Breath smell like last night’s swallowed-up panic,Laugh real calm while my insides frantic,Nails in my teeth, I be chewin’ on static,Therapist say “heal,” I turn trauma to magic,I’m too numb for the numb shit,Parade through the pain in a moth-bitten sun-fit,Clouds in my bloodstream, god in my gun kit,Cupid took aim at my heart, then he dumped it,I don’t cry, I corrode slow, fuck a soft ballad,Every scar on my skin is a rough-cut ballad,Friends turn ghost, then they float in my palate,Taste like lies—yeah, the afterlife’s callous,I been walkin’ through the hell I built,With a grin sewn tight, threads soaked in guilt,Hate on my trail like wolves on stilts,Still I moonwalk on the ash I spilt,Smile look warm, that’s a frostbite mask,Tears don’t fall, they just freeze in the flask,Turn that shit to liquor, take shots, then I laugh,Feelin’ all the pain that I never quite had

Life full of bad thoughts, still I bounce back,Whole script dipped in hate, but I don’t sound mad,Heart full of love, still I can’t seem glad,Smile stitched tight, but the soul split bad,Yeah, I bounce back,Yeah, I bounce back,Hate on the page, but I don’t swing back,Love in my chest, but I don’t feel jack

I keep my halo in a Ziploc, dirty as fuck,Right next to the meds and a lil’ dumb luck,I been dancin’ on the fault line, barefoot stuck,Every step crack ground, pulse screamin’, “Good luck”,I got angels that hate me, demons that pray for me,Saints pullin’ knives, say they tryna make way for me,Mom said "love wins," but the math never tally,’Cause the nice guys left in a blacked-out alley,Heart heavy like a casket full of wet concrete,Soul on a diet, won’t digest no peace,I give love like water through a busted-ass sink,But it drain so fast, I just stand there and think,Why the fuck I still care if they slit my name?Used to beg for they love, now I spit that flame,I’m the poster child of “I’m fine, I swear”,While I carve new poems in my wrist with air,No rope, no blade, just a mouth full of ghosts,Every word I don’t say build a new, dead host,I drink whole days, not a goddamn toast,Just gulpin’ down time ’til my lungs float close,Said I’d die young, now I’m scared that I won’t,Every year feel long, but the minutes just don’t,Trauma on shuffle, same song, new coat,Paint the noose gold, call it chain round my throat