Michael Heightland rolled outta Dakota,
Where the winds blow lean and the nights get bold.
Found a new home high in them Rockies,
Where the bourbon’s smooth and the air feels cold.
He’s a solution architect for good ol’ ePlus,
Wranglin’ networks like runaway steers.
Cowboys rope cattle — Michael ropes chaos,
With a beard long enough to lasso ten years.
(Chorus)
Fifty eggs every mornin’, bourbon sippin’ at night,
He’s a mountain man livin’ that engineer life.
But every client call starts the same dang song:
“You want me to quote WHAT?
Partner… that ain’t even turned on.”
From Dakota plains to Colorado sky —
He’s the bearded legend with a side-eye reply.
Folks swear that beard’s got supernatural powers,
Blocks the wind like a denim-covered barn.
When he trims it back maybe twice a year,
It causes small earthquakes clear across the farm.
He logs into meetings with that slow head tilt,
Ask the customer kindly what they really meant.
They say, “We need a routed PON, a DWDM,
And can you do it under budget by two percent?”
He just leans back, sips bourbon from a jar,
Stares deep into the camera with a cowboy squint.
Then drops the line he was born to deliver —
“You want me to quote WHAT?
Buddy, that ain’t even a hint.”
(Chorus)
Fifty eggs every mornin’, bourbon sippin’ at night,
He’s a mountain man livin’ that engineer life.
But every client ask hits him square on the jaw:
“You want me to quote WHAT?
That’s not in physics or law.”
From Dakota grit to Colorado glow,
He’s the backbone of the mountain west show.
He’ll build your network clean as a prairie sunrise,
Blueprints laid out like a country fair track.
But ask him for things that defy God and Cisco,
And he’ll laugh so hard he almost sheds his beard back.
Still, he gets it done — every project, every time,
No matter how wild the request might get.
He’ll fry up fifty eggs, take a bourbon sip,
And mutter, “You want me to quote WHAT?”
Then he delivers it perfect — like a cowboy vet.
(Final Chorus)
Fifty eggs every mornin’, bourbon sippin’ at night,
He’s a mountain-forged wizard of the engineer life.
From Dakota past to Colorado pride,
With a beard so grand it deserves its own ride.
And through every wild customer thought,
You’ll hear him sayin’,
“You want me to quote WHAT?”
TboneBeastMode
