Before you can

I don’t mean to…

I just don’t trust like that anymore

you get a little closer, I shift away

not enough to leave, just enough to stay safe

I keep it calm, I keep it light

like something I won’t let get too tight

you say my name like it means more

that’s when I start closing the door

not ‘cause I don’t feel it too

I just don’t trust what it could do

I’ve seen how fast things change

I don’t fall the same

I push away before you can

not part of a plan, just how I am

you get too close, I lose control

and I don’t trust where that could go

trust… I don’t give it free

it’s not the same for me

I feel it there, I feel it start

that’s when I guard my heart

I read the gaps in everything

every shift, every little thing

even when there’s nothing wrong

my mind’s already moved along

I don’t ask what I don’t want

truth shows up in ways you don’t

I stay quiet, I let it be

if it’s real, it’ll show to me

I’m not cold, I just remember

how it felt to trust forever

I push away before you can

not trying to hurt, just where I stand

you stay the same, I still step back

I don’t trust it when it starts like that

trust… it’s quiet, it’s rare

it’s who you are when I’m not there

I don’t chase, I don’t assume

I just watch what you actually do

I used to believe what I was told

now I believe what unfolds

no more falling just because

I’ve learned what “almost” was

I push away… yeah, I do

even when it feels like truth

I don’t mean to break the start

I just don’t trust my own heart

trust… I don’t say the word

it’s in actions, not what I’ve heard

if you’re real, you won’t have to prove

I’ll stop pushing… if you don’t move

I don’t run…

I just don’t trust enough to stay