[Intro]
Final debrief of this notebook. Volume, whatever this is.
The six words. I owe the record an answer.
Draft one. It's rough. Filing it anyway. That's the whole point of it.
[Verse 1]
What am I trying to accomplish. Attempt the honest version. Go:
Not him — that's settled enough to say out loud, and look, I said it
Not the proof — the proof was for a jury I appointed and I've dismissed them, thank them for their service
Draft one, unpolished, unbillable, sworn:
I'm trying to build a person who could be liked for FREE
By herself, first. The rest is downstream. That's the draft. It's ugly. It's MINE.
[Verse 2]
Status of the accounts, closing entries:
The machine: intact, garaged, keys retained — I'm still ME, I'll still bury you in a boardroom
The streaks: retired undefeated, and retired is the operative word
The shadow ledger: funding daily — boots, bad Sunday cooking, early light
The file on him: open, honest at last — a man I'd like to KNOW someday
When knowing him would be a gift I bring, not a verdict I need. Someday. Not yet. Noted.
[Chorus]
Draft one — the first answer I've ever given without a close behind it
Six words in, twenty-seven years late, and the ink's still wet and staying
I don't lose — that part was always true, I just had the game wrong
The game was never the room, the game was whether anyone was HOME
And I'm moving in. Boxes everywhere. Nothing staged.
Draft one
(...revisions expected. Welcomed, even. WELCOMED. Who am I. Noted.)
[Verse 3]
And this morning — closing scene, because the record deserves one —
New gym, the nice one, seven forty-ish, off-peak, the retiree hour
And the woman on the next rack racked her set, and I took a breath, and said it:
"Morning."
No angle. No target. No play. Seven letters, out loud, free
And she said "morning, honey" back, and THAT WAS ALL, and it was PLENTY
[Verse 4]
And across the floor — because the universe signs its work, the Kid taught me that phrase, I stole it from her file, sue me —
the green bag was parked by the far racks, chalk-white hands, both earbuds in
And I didn't approach and I didn't perform and I didn't file it
I just nodded at the room. The whole room. Present. Enrolled. A member.
The Watcher would call it orientation
I call it draft one, walking
[Outro]
Notebook closed.
Undefeated — record intact, definition amended
Proceeding — direction finally attached
(...morning, honey. That's the whole win. That's the entire —)
(...noted.)
(...home.)
The_SCAR
