Sirens

i’m

twitching

again

the bitching

says

it’s me

it’s always

me

borderline

written

on the wall

in your

sharpie

blame

you

weaponize

the thing

i already

despise

spit it

back

like

i don’t

swallow

that

pill

every

morning

i

hate

myself

enough

for

both

of

us

so

why

you

still

loading

the

gun

i’m

so

scared

to

lose

you

i

push

till

you

bleed

i’m

so

scared

to

lose

you

i

become

the

reason

you

leave

that

ain’t

me

that’s

the

other

half

the

one

that

grabs

the

wheel

when

i

blink

i

try

to

stay

present

palms

open

heart

loud

but

the

second

you

flinch

he

wakes

up

swinging

black

eyes

forked

tongue

says

every

ugly

thing

i

choke

down

all

day

i

never

gave

him

keys

but

you

keep

calling

him

my

name

so

he

thinks

he

lives

here

i

know

i’m

hard

to

love

i

know

i

burn

the

house

but

when

you

blame

me

for

the

smoke

you

forget

who

struck

the

match

i’m

sorry

i’m

sorry

i’m

sorry

i

never

meant

to

let

him

out

i

just

didn’t

want

to

be

alone

with

him

with

me

with

this

(long silence… then the opening riff returns, heavier, slower, crushing, single screamed line echoing into the void)

THAT

WAS

NEVER

ME

(guitars collapse into low drone, heartbeat kick fades to nothing