Can’t promise perfection

I can’t promise you perfection but promise my best
so baby let your walls down please just give it a rest
cause I’m not like the rest
hope I’m passing the test
and every single time you touch me 
got me loosing my breath

but at this point I’m feeling lost 
gotta follow the steps

cause if you’re not right by my side then I’m better off dead 
but it’s so funny ever since you left I’m better ahead

but I just feel so damn alone without you right in my bed
depression kicking in 
another day that I overslept 

i overthink everything 
I’m going way too in depth 

I feel the weight on my back from the secrets Ive kept 

I tell myself that I don’t love you
but we know that’s it’s false

it’s just me against the world
with my back to the wall

and some days when I wake up
I think of ending it all

then I feel like a bitch 
like it’s not that deep
I care way too damn much 
but it’s something I need

cause if I let the love go 
then I feel like I’m not me

I dream about you every night 
and that’s the reason I sleep

I’m running after you
my mother said to follow your dreams

but it’s a nightmare 
everything ain’t all what it  seems 

and its my fault 
but im pushing through it all
days get hard and the nights get long

I’ve been looking up to God 
and praying I stand strong

I stand inside a crowded room and feel like I don’t belong 
I got pain so I release it out in all of my songs

and I’ve been tryna find a way to go and right all my wrongs 

I got real friends and I love em all dearly
but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m feeling so fucking empty 
they tell me count my blessings
and trust me I got plenty 
but I’m trapped in you
lost stuck and feeling afraid

I just want something real
because this life is a game 

and even if we dont mean to it’s something we play

I’m at war with myself 
between my heart and Brain

I got scars and they bleed
left a permanent stain

if I could let go of this pain
then it’s something I wouldn’t change 

and I know it sounds crazy 
I know that it sounds strange 

but the pain  gives meaning to life
so I wouldn’t trade

anything that ever happened 
I just want real love 
guess I’m old fashioned
I can’t tell what is real
or what I imagined

they say life is a bitch and I know it is
so we dressing up nice for the beauty pageant 

tryna hide every flaw
that we got inside

but we wanna be ourselves 
so we just can’t decide

stuck inside the middle 
switching sides like a Gemini

staying close to God 
because I know that it’s him and I

and this cross that I wear 
it carries weight don’t it?

and I know I got evil
but I don’t condone it

fighting with the devil every day that’s my biggest opponent 

I need deliverance 
changes in my temperament
my body is a temple I destroy it to rebuild again 
people call me stubborn and that’s true cause I  don’t ever quit 

I can’t promise you perfection but promise my best
so baby let your walls down please just give it a rest
cause I’m not like the rest

Alternate rock, metal core, grudge, slow