Prompt / Lyrics
The man I used to be, He still stares.. back at me. A shadow in the mirror, That I dont want to see. He was built out of fear, With the storms deep inside my chest. The kind of man who ran, when he should have just confessed. He hid behind his anger, because the pain felt worse. He carried his silence, like a lifelong curse. He broke what he truly loved, trying hard to protect. Turned distance and pride, into neglect & quiet regret. I really truly hate him, but I know him because he was me. A version I lived with too long, Before God set me free. The man.. He someone I used to be.. The devil, he still whispers in my ear, Still tells me I am not worthy of it all, Still feeds on my fear.. But I am learning how to fight him.. Learning how to breathe, Learning how to let God shape me! My kids saw the worst of me before they truly saw my heart They saw the tired eyes that kept falling apart They saw the short fuse not the love underneath They saw a man drowning not the pain or the grief They seen the chaos, the drugs, the cold calculated greed.. but I never meant to be distant never meant to be so cold Never meant to let my past take the things that I hold But trauma dont ask it just sits in your place Till you stand up and face it and refuse to erase it So Im trying to be gentle trying hard to stay positive Trying to be the man & the father God has given me. The man.. He someone I used to be.. The devil, he still whispers in my ear, Still tells me I am not worthy of it all, Still feeds on my fear.. But I am learning how to fight him.. Learning how to breathe, Learning how to let God shape me! I told God I was tired of the weight in my chest Tired of breaking the things I was trusted to bless Tired of letting my anger be the voice that they hear Tired of living my life as a slave to my fear And He said you dont need perfect you just need to be true Bring Me all that youre carrying and Ill carry you So I laid down the guilt and the shame in my bones Laid down the nights I felt lost and alone And for once in my life I felt something like peace Like the war in my spirit was starting to cease The man I used to be Still whispers in my ear Still tells me Im not worthy Still feeds on my fear But Im learning how to fight him Learning how to breathe Learning how to let God shape me! Now Im rebuilding slow brick by brick every day Trying hard to be present trying hard not to stray Trying to love without fear trying to speak without pain Trying to break all the cycles carried down in my name And maybe Im not the man that I hope I become But Im not who I was and that counts for someone Im choosing love over pride choosing truth over shame Choosing God over darkness choosing growth over blame The man I used to be Still calls from the dark Still tries to pull me backward Still leaves his mark But God is louder now And grace is teaching me How to bury who I was And grow who I can be!
Tags
Rap, raw, faith‑tilted, fatherhood‑centered, relationship‑centered, and bluesy + dark.
Duration
4:37
Instrumental
No
Created
4/17/2026