The hurt I never show

There is a hurt I never showed

A weight I carried down every road

A quiet ache that never slept

A promise broken that I never kept

I learned young that tears meant weak

So I locked my voice when I tried to speak

Built a wall around my heart so tight

I forgot what it felt like to feel light

And the years kept passing while I stayed still

Holding pain I never meant to feel

And every time I tried to let it go

It sank back in like winter snow

And the silence grew so loud inside

It felt like parts of me slowly died

This is the hurt I never showed

The part of me nobody knows

The storm I kept beneath my skin

The battles I refused to win

But God keeps pulling at the seams

Saying let Me in your hidden dreams

You do not have to walk alone

Give Me the hurt you never showed

My kids do not know the nights I cried

With my hands on my face trying to hide

They do not know the fear I fight

When I pray for strength in the middle of night

They just see Dad trying to stand

Not the shaking in my trembling hands

They do not hear the thoughts I chase

Or the shame I try hard to erase

And I pray they never feel this ache

Never learn how a heart can break

Never carry the weight I hold

Never grow up feeling cold

But some days the past still drags me low

To the places I swore I would never go

And I beg God softly in the dark

Not to let them inherit my mark

This is the hurt I never showed

The part of me nobody knows

The storm I kept beneath my skin

The battles I refused to win

But God keeps pulling at the seams

Saying let Me in your hidden dreams

You do not have to walk alone

Give Me the hurt you never showed

I told God I am tired of pretending I am fine

Tired of dragging this pain like it is tied to my spine

Tired of waking up feeling already defeated

Tired of the wounds I never treated

And He said give Me what you fear the most

Give Me the memories that haunt you like ghosts

Give Me the hurt you never speak

Give Me the places you feel weak

And I will show you how to heal

How to breathe how to feel

How to stand without the load

Of all the hurt you never showed

So I am learning slow to let it go

Learning to speak what I never show

Learning that healing is not fast

Learning that shadows do not always last

And maybe I will always feel the scar

But it will not define who I now are

I am choosing light though the night is long

Choosing to rise though the past feels strong

Choosing to be a better man

Even when I do not understand

And some days I fall but I still try

Even when the tears burn dry

Because somewhere beneath the pain I hold

Lives the man I lost in the hurt I never showed

This is the hurt I never showed

But it is lighter now than before

Because God is walking beside me

And I am not hiding anymore

Piece by piece I let it go

And every day I slowly grow

Into the man He always owed

Beneath the hurt I never showed