The hurt I never show

There is a hurt I never showed
A weight I carried down every road
A quiet ache that never slept
A promise broken that I never kept
I learned young that tears meant weak
So I locked my voice when I tried to speak
Built a wall around my heart so tight
I forgot what it felt like to feel light
And the years kept passing while I stayed still
Holding pain I never meant to feel
And every time I tried to let it go
It sank back in like winter snow
And the silence grew so loud inside
It felt like parts of me slowly died

This is the hurt I never showed
The part of me nobody knows
The storm I kept beneath my skin
The battles I refused to win
But God keeps pulling at the seams
Saying let Me in your hidden dreams
You do not have to walk alone
Give Me the hurt you never showed

My kids do not know the nights I cried
With my hands on my face trying to hide
They do not know the fear I fight
When I pray for strength in the middle of night
They just see Dad trying to stand
Not the shaking in my trembling hands
They do not hear the thoughts I chase
Or the shame I try hard to erase
And I pray they never feel this ache
Never learn how a heart can break
Never carry the weight I hold
Never grow up feeling cold
But some days the past still drags me low
To the places I swore I would never go
And I beg God softly in the dark
Not to let them inherit my mark

This is the hurt I never showed
The part of me nobody knows
The storm I kept beneath my skin
The battles I refused to win
But God keeps pulling at the seams
Saying let Me in your hidden dreams
You do not have to walk alone
Give Me the hurt you never showed

I told God I am tired of pretending I am fine
Tired of dragging this pain like it is tied to my spine
Tired of waking up feeling already defeated
Tired of the wounds I never treated
And He said give Me what you fear the most
Give Me the memories that haunt you like ghosts
Give Me the hurt you never speak
Give Me the places you feel weak
And I will show you how to heal
How to breathe how to feel
How to stand without the load
Of all the hurt you never showed

So I am learning slow to let it go
Learning to speak what I never show
Learning that healing is not fast
Learning that shadows do not always last
And maybe I will always feel the scar
But it will not define who I now are
I am choosing light though the night is long
Choosing to rise though the past feels strong
Choosing to be a better man
Even when I do not understand
And some days I fall but I still try
Even when the tears burn dry
Because somewhere beneath the pain I hold
Lives the man I lost in the hurt I never showed

This is the hurt I never showed
But it is lighter now than before
Because God is walking beside me
And I am not hiding anymore
Piece by piece I let it go
And every day I slowly grow
Into the man He always owed
Beneath the hurt I never showed

Rap, hollow, saddened heartbreak, devastation, heavy blues vibe