Clipboard Cowboy

“Clipboard Cowboy”

By Joe, Dillon & Ethan (The Square Cow Boys)

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He strolls in late with a coffee in hand,

Actin’ like he’s bossin’ this ragtag band.

Got his shades on crooked, papers all flyin’,

Says, “Follow the plan,” but the plan’s straight lyin’.

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He calls it a “quick load,” no stairs, no pain—

Then we show up and it’s pourin’ rain.

Three flights, no elevator, a piano and a heavy ass crate.

But ol’ Kurt just shrugs like it’s no mistake.

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He’s the Clipboard Cowboy, hat without the horse,

Ridin’ his desk like he’s settin’ the course.

Talks real loud ‘bout ropes and rigs,

But ain’t never lifted nothin’ that’s heavy or big.

We’re breakin’ our backs while he checks his phone—

Clipboard Cowboy, leave us alone!

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He said, “This one’s smooth,” with that dumb little grin,

Didn’t mention they had five cats and a violin.

Client asked questions, Kurt ran and hid,

Left us explainin’ like we booked the gig.

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He’s got charts, graphs, and color-coded tags,

But no clue how to strap down bags.

Called a sofa “modular,” said it’d be light,

We’re still tryin’ to haul it down three flights.

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He’s the Clipboard Cowboy, lost in the fog,

Actin’ like John Wayne, but he’s just a blog.

Wears boots for style, don’t know the grind,

Leaves us stuck with the chaos he signs.

So saddle up, Kurt—ride into that zone…

Where Clipboard Cowboys get left alone