[Verse 1]
Hands shake
Jaw tight
Doctor said
I’d be alright
White label in a clear jar
Tiny moons in a cheap car
I swallow faith like candy
Still my chest feel heavy
Like a brick on my lungs
Like a fist in my gut
Heart racing in circles
Mind stuck in a rut
I text her
Type, erase
Blue bubbles
Empty space
Scroll through our pictures
Laugh stuck in my throat
She my reason, my reset
Now I’m stuck on a note
[Chorus]
These pills ain’t helping, I’m still breaking
Whole damn body just keeps shaking
Tryna breathe but my ribs keep caving in
And it’s all ‘bout her, all ‘bout her again
She’s everything, everything, everything to me
But I can’t outrun what’s eating me
If this is calm, then what’s the storm?
These meds ain’t working, my fear’s reborn
[Verse 2]
Clock on the wall goes tick-tick
My brain go sick-sick
Sweat on my palms like rain
I can taste my own panic, stain
Doctor talk dose, side effects
I choke back tears, bite my neck
Said “give it time, it’ll smooth the edges”
But I’m cutting on the same old ledges
She sent “you good?”
I left it on read
Stared at those words
While I spiraled instead
‘Cause how I tell her that my heart’s on fire
From a spark she never meant to light higher
I’m scared I’ll scare her off
Scared I’ll lose this shot
So I lock it in my skull
Til my vision’s full of dots
[Chorus]
These pills ain’t helping, I’m still breaking
Whole damn body just keeps shaking
Tryna breathe but my ribs keep caving in
And it’s all ‘bout her, all ‘bout her again
She’s everything, everything, everything to me
But I can’t outrun what’s eating me
If this is calm, then what’s the storm?
These meds ain’t working, my fear’s reborn
[Bridge]
[low vocal register]
I hate that I need her to feel okay
I hate that I’m wired this kind of way
I hate that a text could ruin my day
I hate that they say it’ll fade someday
[crescendo]
But it’s here right now
On my tongue, in my chest
Every thought, every breath
Every “what if” I obsess
She the halo in my chaos
Only light when I’m lost
But if she walks away
I’m just alone with the cost
[Chorus]