[Verse 1]
Ash in the tray, same sweatshirt
Phone on mute, blinds half shut
Thought I found peace in a rolled-up leaf
Whole day disappeared in a paper cup
I was floating, sort of
Slow motion on the sofa
Laughing at the ceiling, talking to the wall
Till my heart hit the gas and my lungs hit a stall
Clock hands melting, room got thin
Every little noise felt like it crawled on my skin
Hands got numb, I could taste my fear
Tried to stand up, but my legs weren't here
[Chorus]
I used green to get away from everything
Now I'm buried in the smoke that I was cherishing
Face down on the floor, I can’t catch a breath
Said I just want a break, got a date with death
I used green to turn the volume down
Now I'm drowning in the quiet, can’t hear a sound
She walked in, saw me shaking, said "What did you do?"
I broke down in the ruin that I ran to
[Verse 2]
I remember her keys in the hallway
Little jingle cut through the thunder in my chest
Door swung wide, light hit my eyes
I was curled like a child, shirt soaked, a mess
She dropped her bag, knees hit the carpet
"Baby, breathe with me," but I swear I couldn't start it
Snot on my sleeve, sweat on my face
I kept saying "I'm sorry" like it might erase
[low vocal register]
She saw the empty jars on the nightstand
Receipts, burnt tips, plans I never planned
Her voice cracked, "Is this how you disappear?"
Tears on her chin, but she pulled me near
[Bridge]
[whispered vocals] Inhale, exhale
She counted on her fingers while my ribs set sail
Said, "If you can't stand life, lean on me instead"
But I'd already built this kingdom in my head
I chased out every feeling with a bitter little bloom
Till the only thing left was me shaking in a room
Her arms around my shoulders, my ghosts between us
And all I ever wanted was a way to leave us
[Chorus]