(Intro — beat drops)
Yeahhh… turn the Wi-Fi up…
Turn the Colts game on…
Bring out the burrito cat…
It’s KRIS WALKER time.
Hey… bossapotomus… let’s go.
⸻
(Verse 1)
Kris logs in like a king of the cloud,
Webex pops up and the cat-burrito’s loud.
He says “Hey bossapotomus” like a signature phrase,
Whole meeting freezes like “Dang… he’s built that way.”
Solutions Architect with a Jedi brain,
But he claims he knows less every single day.
Still fixes all your routers with one click swipe,
Man’s a Force-user disguised as an ePlus type.
Colts jersey on when he’s droppin’ designs,
Golf clubs chillin’ in the back — ready to shine.
His dogs train harder than half the NFL,
Even his Labradors got stories to tell.
⸻
(Hook — bouncy, loud, funny)
Kris Walkerrrr— big bossapotomus mode,
Star Wars heart with an ePlus code.
Cat-burrito background, drivin’ folks insane,
But the network bows down every time he explains.
Kris Walkerrrr — packet Jedi in blue,
Colts fan swingin’ a golf club too.
Says he knows less today than he did last week…
But his skills still hit like a Star Destroyer fleet.
⸻
(Verse 2)
Router goes down? Kris whispers “Relax.”
Everything heals like he patched it with snacks.
Logs read like chaos, configs look cursed,
He quotes Yoda once — BOOM — problem reversed.
Customer says, “Kris, how’d you fix that bug?”
He shrugs like, “I dunno, man… maybe just luck.”
But everybody knows he’s the wizard on call,
He’s the reason packet loss don’t happen at all.
When he golfs he swings like a TIE fighter dive,
Ball disappears like it jumped to hyperspace drive.
His dogs watch him like “Dad’s kinda nuts…”
Then they win competitions and collect all the cuts.
⸻
(Hook — even harder)
Kris Walkerrrr — bossapotomus supreme,
Webex cat lookin’ like it runs the team.
Star Wars posters hangin’ on his home office wall,
Colts flags flyin’ like he’s draft-day tall.
Kris Walkerrrr — architect of fate,
Knows less today but he still codes great.
Packets move smoother when he walks by,
Even VLANs whisper “This dude’s our guy.”
⸻
(Bridge — spoken, beat dips)
“Hey bossapotomus…
The network’s down.”
Kris sips his coffee like,
“Not for long.”
Router reboots itself out of shame,
Golf ball jumps into the cup, like it knows his name.
Dog does a perfect heel-turn spin,
Cat-burrito stares like, “Bow before him.”
⸻
(Verse 3 — final heat)
Kris don’t try — he just naturally flex,
While the whole ePlus team calls him “The Architect.”
From BGP flows to a full-stack design,
He types one line — everything’s fine.
He’s the hero of the meeting, king of the call,
And still claims he barely knows anything at all.
But legends say when the Wi-Fi gods get stuck,
They page Kris Walker like “Bro… we need your luck.”
⸻
(Final Hook — big finish)
Kris Walkerrrr — big bossapotomus flow,
Star Wars soul with an engineer glow.
Colts fan, dog man, golf course king,
Cat-burrito Webex is his diamond ring.
Kris Walkerrrr — the myth you can’t replace,
Fixin’ the world with a smirk on his
TboneBeastMode
