Bathroom light like a dying star
Buzzing truth into broken glass
Every angle tells me who I was
Every name feels like an aftermath
I trace my face with borrowed hands
Try to feel something that fits
Skin is a rumor I can’t confirm
A body speaking a language I miss
I swallow silence like pills of air
Count my breath just to feel it there
If I disappear between these lines
Would the world finally get it right?
I’m screaming into a static mirror
It screams me back, but meaner, clearer
I don’t want to die—I want this gone
This wrong-shaped life I’m trapped upon
If heaven’s real, it’s far from here
Under layers of noise and fear
I fade, I flicker, I stall, I stall
Pinned to the wall by the mirror’s call
Closets full of almost-me
Ghosts of futures I couldn’t wear
Every compliment cuts like wire
Every glance is a quiet stare
I learned to smile through feedback hum
Learned to vanish without a sound
I’m alive in the most technical sense
Like a signal buried underground
I bargain with the night again
Not for joy—just less pretend
If I could shed this borrowed shell
Would I finally want to dwell?
I’m screaming into a static mirror
It screams me back, but meaner, clearer
I don’t want to die—I want this gone
This wrong-shaped life I’m trapped upon
If heaven’s real, it’s far from here
Under layers of noise and fear
I fade, I flicker, I stall, I stall
Pinned to the wall by the mirror’s call
There’s a difference
Between wanting to end
And wanting an end to the hurting
But the night doesn’t listen
It just repeats
What it thinks I deserve
Feedback blooms like a bruise in my head
Every thought says, “You’d be better off dead”
But even that voice sounds tired now
Like it’s scared of the quiet it’s calling down
I’m screaming into a static mirror
But somewhere inside, the signal quivers
I don’t want to die—I want to be
A name, a face, a gravity
If heaven’s real, let it start as this:
One more breath I didn’t miss
I shake, I bend, I don’t let fall
I crack the glass—I don’t end it all
Neon hum, dawn leaks through
The mirror’s cracked—but so am I too
And somehow, still, the noise survives
Still buzzing—still alive
AWeekTillSunrise
