Learning How To Breathe

The room was closing in again

Like it forgot I’m here

Every sound said hold your breath

Every thought was fear

I folded up my name at night

To keep the peace, to stay

I whispered this is temporary

Like a prayer I couldn’t say

I wasn’t breaking

I was waiting

For the wave to pass

I couldn’t breathe, but I stayed

I held on through the ache

Every second felt like drowning

But I knew the air would change

If I make it through this moment

There’s a softer light ahead

I couldn’t breathe…

But I stayed

They only see me in small rooms

White walls, careful words

But I exist when no one’s looking

More than what they’ve heard

I saw myself in quiet sleep

No weight upon my chest

Just breathing like it’s natural

Like being me is rest

This isn’t forever

It just feels close

When you’re counting breaths

Instead of hope

I couldn’t breathe, but I stayed

Hands shaking, still awake

Every fear said this is it

But I felt my heartbeat wait

If I make it through this moment

There’s a place where I can rest

I couldn’t breathe…

But I stayed

I don’t need to disappear

To make the world feel safe

I don’t need to vanish

Just to earn my place

I am still becoming

Even standing still

I am not behind

I’m just healing quietly

I couldn’t breathe, but I stayed

Through the longest minute

I saw myself beyond the walls

And I believed in it

If I make it through this moment

There’s a life I haven’t met

I couldn’t breathe…

But I stayed

I’m learning how to breathe

I’m learning how to breathe

Slowly…

I’m still here