Shades of Grey

Two houses but no home
Nobody listens when I mourn
Feeling unwanted, a weight to bear
Craving closeness, met with air

An annoyance, that’s the role I play
Lost in silence at the end of the day
Is it my distance that drives them away?
Or am I just built this way?

They take the credit for where I stand
But vanish when I need a hand

I’m living in shades of grey
Not dark enough to run away
Not light enough to feel okay
Just somewhere in between

You ask me what’s on my mind
But never stay long enough to find
The cracks beneath the calm you see
The quiet breaking inside me

Fault must be mine — I built illusions
Thought I mattered in the confusion
Always the one to understand
Never the one they try to comprehend

Pushed aside, forgotten in time
Still they ask, “Are you fine?”
A sore loser — that’s their view
But they don’t see what I push through

Is it love, or is it duty?
Why does caring make me guilty?

(late-night tone)
Three a.m., I scream at walls
Echoes answer, that’s all
Do they notice when I fall?
Or does it matter at all?

 (slightly lifted but restrained)
I’m living in shades of grey
Trying to find a brighter shade
Not begging you to stay
Just wishing you’d engage

Two houses but no home
Full rooms, but I’m alone
Somewhere between right and wrong
Just wanting to belong

(quiet)
Night falls — no one calls
And I’m still here

Moody alt-pop ballad with atmospheric synths, minimal beats, intimate vocals and a slow emotional build, male