Supposed to be

I tried to win but lost, tried to go but stayed

To think that all these battles would later mean nothing to me

To take this and that and to wish to be all they say

Is what makes my life and misery overlay

So this is how it feels, the betrayal was the key

To open the door that wouldn’t let me free

I felt this way before but it never hurt me more

Feeling miserable seems to be what I adore

What is wrong with me?

Made me believe in loyalty but it was all just a dream

Far away from the reality and it wasn’t good for me

To unlock my heart with explosive thoughts

My mind screaming loud, feeling like gunshots

Letting nature help me hide the open wound you created

Left me bleeding without even blinking

Was I the thorn in the rose? ’Cause for her you stayed

Knew you loved the summer yet embodied winter’s chill

Were the clouds I painted in your sky too overkill ?

Forever veiled inside the doll meant to bring you delight

I keep my phone charged hoping one day you might

Call me to see what I’ve become

Still playing the same façade, feeling numb

Why can’t you see that this is who I’m supposed to be?

A monster you created to fulfill your needs

Giving me false hope was your hobby

Does she know the words you once said to me?