The chemical imbalance (ADHD)

As the war in my brain rages on

All I can hear is the,

Screaming in my head

All I can feel is,

The sadness pulsing through my veins

And I’m drowning as,

The darkness pouring over me

At some point something has to give,

Because these intrusive thoughts

Are starting to tear out of my skin!

Growing up I never fit in

The black sheep, the misfit with no friends

Plagued with all this depression

I’ve always hated myself

and the chemical imbalance,

Always starting something, then another, then I stop just to forget,

Every thought racing at the same time

Crashing through my brain, it hurts just to think

And I just can’t focus!

ADHD,

blessing and a curse sometimes I just want it all to end.

No one has ever saved enough to pay attention

Forever alone with no one to understand

Every laugh feels like a costume

With my mask I’ll smile till the end

But Underneath I cry cus,

Every day is a reminder of all my failures

So hard to keep these emotions in check

I’m Always too loud,

Too happy, Too sad,

too excited or Too mad,

I’ll Always be too much for any one to want to handle.

I just want out of my own head

Just a fix that doesn’t feel like death

Wish everyone knew what’s in my head

All the love and peace I want to give,

Then they’d be more compassionate

Most days I feel half-dead

Drowning slowly in my head

The only cure is time, patience and the knowledge on how to use it.

At times I Thought I found love,

but it’s Always the wrong time, wrong place

No one’s healed from their traumas so we are doomed to suffer. One January I hit the bottom and tried to end everything.

a day I’ll never forget.

3 years of deep reflection, healing, reforming

And changing my old ways

Unfortunately it don’t change the past.

Even though I’m In a better place now wishing for a brighter future

I’ll just always too late,

Yeah it’s always too late.

No one has ever saved enough to pay attention

Forever alone with no one to understand

Every laugh feels like a costume

With my mask I’ll smile till the end

But Underneath I cry cus,

Every day is a reminder of all my failures

And it tears me open, like a dagger in the back the depression always comes back

Every thought like a blade in my flesh

The internal torment haunts me

Deep within

I feel the reaper come for me

Time to leave, since I can’t find any relief

The blades cut across skin

The deeper they go, I’m more at peace

Cus the Pain feels real, and to me that’s a blessing

If you think you know me, your mistaken

You say you love me till it’s time to prove it

Now I’m all alone with all these thoughts and feelings

If there’s hope, say something

If there’s a way out of the darkness, show me the light

before it’s too late.

Till then it’s just me and the darkness in my head.