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Static in my brain again

Rain against the window

Room looks like a war zone

Heart feels like the fallout

Wake up on the floor

Phone full of missed calls, old ghosts

Bills in a pile by the door

Brush my teeth, then I zone, then I choke

Start one thing, then another, then I stall

Got a thousand open tabs in my skull

Every thought like a pinball ricochet

Crash, flash, then it all goes dull

You said, "Focus on us, not the noise"

I was chasing every shadow in the hall

You were packing up boxes, folding all your joy

I was digging my own grave in the drywall

Hands shake on the steering wheel

Red lights blur into one long streak

I keep shouting at the silence

But the silence never speaks

I’m a ghost in my own head

Talking back to the voices I fed

Every promise that I made turns black

You were the light, now you’re never coming back

I’m awake but I feel half-dead

Drown slow in an unmade bed

If I could cut this chaos out my chest

Would you ever, would you ever come back?

Sink into the couch, doom scroll till dawn

Laugh at every meme, feel nothing at all

Empty coffee cups like trophies of defeat

Shoes by the door still waiting for a walk I never take, I just crawl

Doctor said, "Here, this might help"

Little white pill, big heavy shell

Two weeks in, I just stare at the wall

Feel too wired to rise, too tired to fall

You said, "I miss who you were"

But this is who I am, cracked and blurred

Every plan that we drew on the fridge

Is a faded little map to a bridge I burned

Call your name in a crowded room

Only answer is the ringing in my ears

Every laugh feels like a costume

Every day another loop of the same old fears

Cut me open, you would see

Every thought like broken glass in me

I replay the day you left on repeat

Pause it on your eyes when you said, "Just breathe"

But I can’t breathe, I just grind my teeth

Head like a hive, can’t find relief

I punch the wall till my knuckles sing

Pain feels honest, that’s a real thing

Calendar blank but my mind overcrowded

Voices in a circle, screaming, doubting

You loved the spark till it burned your hands

Now I’m alone with the ash in the plans

If there’s a god in this mess, say something

If there’s a way out this pit, start crumbling

Till then it’s just me, my mind, these meds

And the echo of you in the back of my head