I’m not doing ok

I wake up with a weight on my chest,

Try to smile, but I can’t fake the rest.

These walls keep closing in too tight,

And I’ve been losing sleep every night.

I say “I’m fine” when they ask me how,

But deep inside I’m breaking down.

The mirror don’t reflect who I am,

Just a shadow of what used to stand.

⸻

I keep pretending I’m strong,

But I’ve been hurting too long.

I’m tired of wearing this disguise,

Of holding back the tears in my eyes.

⸻

I’m not doing okay,

And that’s all right to say.

I’ve been fighting in silence,

Drowning in my own defiance.

But God, can You hear me tonight?

‘Cause I’m running out of light.

I’m not doing okay…

But I’m still here anyway.

⸻

I scroll through smiles I can’t feel,

Everyone looks so put together and real.

But behind their screens and mine,

We’re all just learning how to survive.

I talk to You, Lord, in the dark,

Hoping You still hear my heart.

Even when my faith feels weak,

You’re the strength I can’t always see.

⸻

I’m trying to hold on,

Though the nights feel so long.

I know You’ve carried me before,

So I’ll trust You once more.

⸻

I’m not doing okay,

And that’s all right to say.

I’ve been fighting in silence,

Drowning in my own defiance.

But God, can You hear me tonight?

‘Cause I’m running out of light.

I’m not doing okay…

But I’m still here anyway.

⸻

Maybe healing starts with truth,

Admitting I’m broken too.

And maybe You’re not far away,

You’re the whisper when I pray.

⸻

I’m not doing okay,

But I know You’ll make a way.

Through the tears and the madness,

You still turn pain into gladness.

So I’ll lift my hands and say,

Even when I fade away—

I’m not okay…

But with You, I’ll be someday.

⸻

So if I fall, don’t let me go,

Wrap Your mercy ‘round my soul.

I’m learning it’s okay to break,

‘Cause broken hearts are where You make

Something new inside the pain.

Yeah, I’m not okay…

But I know You’ll stay.

And that’s enough for today.