I grew up learning silence like it kept me safe
Tiptoe through the tension
All I wanted was love & attention
Learning what I was, a waste of space
Shut inside a dark room
Hands over ears, try to block it out
Holding my breath, don’t make a sound
All I wanted to do was scream & shout
Now I’m older, still feel guilty just for standing my ground
I still think about it when no one’s around
They said be a woman, like it comes with a guide
I’m not a girl anymore, I can’t just hide
But no one told me what to do with this rage
Or how to love a child, they locked in a cage
I survived it all
I carried the weight
But nobody tells you what comes after the pain
I don’t know where I stand anymore
Built from the wreckage but I’m still unsure
I fought so hard just to breathe, just to live
Now I’m stuck with a life I don’t know how to give
They said
Grow up, this is your role
But it feels like I’m losing pieces of my soul
If I made it out, then what was it for?
I still don’t know where I stand anymore
The nights have been colder
I’ve eaten regret
Now I’m getting older
Thinking that’s as good as I’ll get
Held onto hope
All the sacrifices, just took away who I used to be
I left everything just to try to survive
Cut off pieces just to remain here
Now I look in the mirror and I don’t recognise
The girl who kept fighting just to stay alive
They call it strength but it feels like a lie
I’m still here breaking inside
I don’t know where I stand anymore
Built from the wreckage but I’m still unsure
I fought so hard just to breathe, just to live
Now I’m stuck with a life I don’t know how to give
They said
One day, you’ll have your own place
But it’s my past I’m scared to face
It feels like I’m losing pieces of my soul
If I made it out, then what was it for?
I don’t know where I fucking stand anymore
What if I don’t want this life?
What if my body is too broken?
What if I can’t be a mother?
What if I can’t be the perfect wife?
I know I’m not perfect
What happens if I’m outspoken?
I don’t want to be just another
Another name
What about the trauma they left in my brain?
I bled for this
I broke for this
Carried every scar like I owe them this
I still bleed
I’m still broken
They can’t fix me
You can fix me
You don’t see it
You don’t feel it
They say I should be grateful
Grateful for what?
The pain?
The lessons forced on me?
The silence?
The life that doesn’t feel like mine?
Grateful for the person they forced me to be?
I just don’t know where I stand anymore
I let go of the rage, but I still give it my all
I fought so hard just to breathe, just to live
Now I don’t even know who the fuck this is
If I made it out, then what was it for?
What for?
I don’t know where I stand…
I don’t know who I am anymore
All that fighting
All that pain
Just to end up…
Feeling the same
[Pre-Intro]
[Intro]
[Verse]
[Bridge]
[Pre Chorus]
[Chorus]
[Final Chorus]
[Outro]