If I Don’t Wake Up

(…yeah…)

Sometimes I don’t even recognize myself no more…

Look in the mirror… feel like I’m fading…

⸻

If I don’t wake up, tell ‘em I tried

Fought all my demons, just couldn’t survive

Smile on my face, but I’m dying inside

Ain’t nobody see it, I learned how to hide

If I don’t wake up, just let me rest

Carried the world on my back and my chest

I gave ‘em love, they gave me stress

Now I’m just lost… I ain’t found me yet

⸻

I been talking to God but I don’t hear back

Maybe I’m too far gone, too deep in the black

Every scar got a story I can’t erase

Every tear feel heavy when it hit my face

I let people in, they just let me down

Now I build these walls, don’t let love around

I’m tired of being strong, I’m weak for real

But nobody care how a broken man feel

I smile in public, cry when alone

Got a house full of love but don’t feel at home

They say “you good?” I just say “I’m straight”

But I been fighting thoughts that I can’t escape

⸻

If I don’t wake up, tell ‘em I tried

Fought all my demons, just couldn’t survive

Smile on my face, but I’m dying inside

Ain’t nobody see it, I learned how to hide

If I don’t wake up, just let me rest

Carried the world on my back and my chest

I gave ‘em love, they gave me stress

Now I’m just lost… I ain’t found me yet

⸻

What if the strong one finally break?

What if the smile just a mask I fake?

What if the love I give never return?

What if I’m just a lesson they had to learn?

I been feeling numb, I can’t even cry

Too many nights I just question “why?”

Why I give my heart just to watch it bleed?

Why I plant love but grow what I don’t need?

And I don’t wanna die… but I don’t feel alive

Just surviving every day, I ain’t really living life

If I disappear, would it change a thing?

Or just another sad song nobody sings…

⸻

Don’t save me now… I’m too far gone

Been holding pain for way too long

If you love me, just hold me close

Before I turn into a ghost…

⸻

If I don’t wake up… tell ‘em I tried

I swear I fought it… I just got tired…

Smile on my face… tears in disguise…

Nobody knew it… I kept it inside…

If I don’t wake up… just let me sleep…

These wounds I carry cut way too deep…

I gave my soul… they took all of me…

Now I’m just gone… who I used to be…