Audit Day

Ok, got a good job today

Gonna be tricky but I got this

Oh no, here come the bosses

Forgot it’s audit day

(Verse 1)

Got the work order first thing in the morning

Walked it out last week, but Ops said it’s gonna be dirty

Gonna need acid gear, respirator and some gloves

Get it on you gonna be begging for mercy from above

But this a new operator, still wet behind the ears

And I’ve been doing this shy of twenty years

Came back with my gaskets, studs brand new in a bag

But it’s 93 degrees, kept my acid gear in the back

Didn’t get no staging so I gotta stand on a pump

I ain’t scared, what do I look like, a chump?

Started by breaking the flanges, acid pouring everywhere

Felt my phone vibrate, then felt the standing of my hairs

I forgot what today is, the bosses favorite time

When they finally leave the office to give me a hard time

I know what the phone call was, it was a warning

That the boss is heading to me, better be working

And before I could get down to make sure I was cool

I hear “What’s going on?” I feel like a fool

Because

(Chorus)

Audit day

The bosses favorite day of the week

Audit day

Where they tell you that you are the weakest link

Audit day

This negative audit isn’t about punishment

Audit day

But you should pack your bags and sign up for unemployment

(Verse 2)

“Your monitor’s not bumped, your shirts not tucked in”

Jesus, he barking out the longest laundry list

Of shit I’m doing wrong, that I should know better

Did he forget my mind so sharp I should be made of cheddar

“Your boots are too old, you have no craft locks

Is your permit even signed, did you even log on?”

This sucka act like I don’t finish the most work

Like I’m not the strongest, ain’t no need to torque

But because I might slip on paperwork

I’m the worst employee on planet earth

Bitch please, without me you’d fall to your knees

Begging to get the job done cause all he has are trainees

After this he’s gonna go back to his office

And type up how his mechanic is awful

Then buy us donuts tomorrow and act like he has nothing to say

That’s why I always hate audit day

(Chorus)

Audit day

The bosses favorite day of the week

Audit day

Where they tell you that you are the weakest link

Audit day

This negative audit isn’t about punishment

Audit day

But you should pack your bags and sign up for unemployment

(Verse 3)

I’m done giving a shit

I’m tired of taking all the hits

Exhausted of hearing that I make a difference

Then getting wrote up, like they’re insulted of my existence

I’ll still get the job done, because I’m a man

It’s built in me to fix all that I can

But bosses, bro, they really need to chill

“Take your time, don’t get hurt, there’s always time to do it right,

But get it done now or I’ll get some else to work at night”

Yeah whatever, I’m done. Going back to the break room

“Oh one last thing, did you even sign in to the zone?”

(Outro)

Oops

I guess you can work hard

But your blood, sweat and tears

Don’t matter if your shirts not tucked in