Keep pushing, Jonas
You’re getting stronger
2 more sets
Yes, you’ll pick up any torta in no time…
Or my name isn’t Cuhmeelo
(Verse 1 - Cuhmeelo)
I remember talking to skinny ladies
Trying to make love to them all
But I was sad at all the parties
Because they’re not fun at all
Then I see me hermano Jonas
Looking lonely and sad like me
And we agree that all our ladies
Should be huge and not skinny
So we smashed our first tortas
What a dream come true
I asked what did they want after
They said to eat hella food
The next day we were both sore
My arms were on fire
But me and Jonas both agreed
To smash tortas til we retire
(Verse 2 - Jonas)
That story was a long time ago
We’re torta experts by now
Let me explain to all of you
The difference between a torta and a cow
A cow has no shame
Just eats whatever she can
But a torta has higher standards
And will treat you like a man
A torta will hold onto you
With her one free hand
Because the other hand of hers
Is holding up a giant pan
Filled with hot Cheetos, and Fritos and Lays
And Doritos, and funions, and sun chips
And pan dulce, and donuts, and bear claws
And Pringles, and Twinkies and corn nuts
And cream cheese and salsa and puff balls
And that’s why we love them all
(CHORUS - Cuhmeelo and Jonas)
We love them tortas
Of all different size
At least two eighty
Prefer three fifty-five
We love to hold them
Close to our hearts
They’re warm in the winter
And fill your shopping carts
(Verse 3 - Cuhmeelo)
Now we’re in the gym
Pushing ourselves to the max
It’s the only way
We’ll be able to hold up their fat
I got the new dually
To handle the weight
And bought them new bibs
For when they eat a whole cake
My life’s never been better
Tortas are the best
You’re always at a drive thru
Plus they got giant breasts
They’ll break your whole bed frame
And flatten your tires
And don’t let them ride you
The air in your lungs will expire
Stay in great shape
To pick up your torta
That’s why Jonas and I
Will ALWAYS smash tortas
(CHORUS - Cuhmeelo and Jonas)
We love them tortas
Of all different size
At least two eighty
Prefer three fifty-five
We love to hold them
Close to our hearts
They’re warm in the winter
And fill your shopping carts
(OUTRO - Jonas)
Te queremos mucho, tortas
We’re the new Bash Brothers
She ain’t a lady if she ain’t two eighty
Hot Cheetos for life
We love you, you big ol tortas
(Instrumental fade out)
(End)