“Libido Overflow (But My Tower Won’t Rise)”

I wake up every mornin’ with a lion in my chest,

Got fire in my belly, and I just can’t rest.

I see my baby walkin’ by, and my engine starts to race,

But my little general’s gone AWOL, disappearin’ without a trace!

I got libidos overflowin’, like a damn volcano blast,

But my trouser soldier’s frozen like it’s stuck in the past.

I’m a rocket full of fuel, but the fuse just won’t ignite,

I wanna climb her mountain… but I can’t stand upright!

I tried oysters, yoga, even sniffed a goat horn pill,

Did kegels in the mirror—man, I’m workin’ on that skill.

She’s dressed in lace and velvet, like a queen in lingerie,

But my sword just keeps on slippin’, like it ran away in shame!

Yeah, my libido’s on a riot, throwin’ parties in my head,

But my trusty meat baton just wants to nap instead.

I’m revvin’ like a Harley, full of passion, grit, and might—

But my hose won’t spray no water, and that just ain’t right!

I even tried hypnosis, whispered sweet into the void,

Read Kama Sutra backwards, took advice from Sigmund Freud.

She said, “Let’s just hold hands, babe, it’s not about the size…”

But even that ol’ pep talk couldn’t make my tower rise!

Doctor said, “Son, maybe it’s your stress or phone addiction…”

I said, “Doc, I’m just tryin’ to stream some friction fiction!”

He said, “Try a break, take a walk, and meditate…”

But my libido laughed so hard, it nearly levitated!

I got libidos like confetti in a Mardi Gras parade,

But my disco stick’s on strike like it ain’t gettin’ paid!

She’s ready for the fireworks, got her candle lit at night…

But I’m stuck with a limp balloon… not a spark in sight!

So if you’re full of fire but your hose just won’t comply,

Don’t beat yourself up, brother… just give it one more try.

‘Cause love ain’t always rigid… sometimes it’s soft and sweet,

Just cuddle up and laugh a bit… and accept defeat!