Beer Goggles and Regrets

"You ever wake up and scream on the inside? Yeah... me too."

Walked in the bar feelin’ half alive,

Threw back shots, like "YOLO tonight!"

Then she appeared, a 6 at best,

But four beers later, she passed the test!

She looked like Pam from Baywatch shows,

Swear to God, man, she even had the glow!

We danced, we laughed, I lost control,

Woke up in hell with a stranger’s soul.

She had a vibe, or maybe it’s rum,

Whispered “let’s go” and I played dumb…

Ohhh, beer goggles and regrets,

Swore she looked like Pamela’s best.

She said “good morning, darling dear,”

I said “I need to get the hell outta here!”

I said hi and you said hey,

I’m Romeo, are you Juliet today?

Then we smiled, we laughed,

We hugged, we kissed,

We went upstairs like honeymoon bliss.

But wait till morning comes crashin’ in—

That’s when I realized... you’re NOT Juliet!

My boys still roast me to this day,

Call me Houdini when I ran away.

She thought it was fate, I thought it was doom,

Slipped out the door, left my boxers in the room!

Now when I see a girl with her frame,

I duck, I dive, I fake a sprain.

That night still haunts my sleep,

And I ain’t even that deep!

Cupid shot, but my aim was off,

Thanks to whiskey and Smirnoff!

Yeah, beer goggles and regrets,

That night’s a blooper reel I suppress.

She thought we had a fairytale,

I booked it out like I was on bail!

“If you’re out there… I’m sorry I ghosted,

But tequila lied and my dignity posted.” (Regret! Regret! Hangover threat! Abort! Escape! No Juliet!)

Beer goggles and regrets,

Lessons earned with soaked bar bets.

Now I drink and think with caution,

'Cause last time love came with distortion!

Beer! Goggles! Bad decisions!

Beer! Goggles! Late-night missions!

One-night stand and deep regrets—

But hey at least I paid the debt!