UNBOTHERED (BUT NOT REALLY)

I don’t react the way I feel

and I think that’s what throws people off

I look unbothered, that’s how it seem

but it’s a lot that I don’t speak

I feel it all, I just don’t show

I learned to hold what people don’t

I keep it calm, I keep it clean

but that don’t mean it don’t hit deep

I just don’t move how I used to be

I don’t let everything out of me

I could be feeling something heavy

and you wouldn’t even notice it

not because it’s not there

but because I don’t present it like that

I don’t always say what’s on my mind

I sit with it first

try to understand it

before I give it words

and sometimes by the time I do

it don’t even sound the same

’cause I already processed it

already carried it

already made peace with it

before you even knew it existed

I look unbothered, that’s how it seem

but it’s a lot that I don’t speak

I feel it all, I just don’t show

I learned to hold what people don’t

I keep it calm, I keep it clean

but that don’t mean it don’t hit deep

I just don’t move how I used to be

I don’t let everything out of me

people think I don’t care

because I don’t react fast

like if I’m quiet

it must not matter

but it’s the opposite

I feel everything in real time

I just don’t respond in real time

I don’t say things I can’t take back

I don’t move just to release it

I’d rather sit with it

understand it

than let it come out

in a way I don’t mean

and that control

gets mistaken for distance

I look unbothered, that’s how it seem

but it’s a lot that I don’t speak

I feel it all, I just don’t show

I learned to hold what people don’t

I keep it calm, I keep it clean

but that don’t mean it don’t hit deep

I just don’t move how I used to be

I don’t let everything out of me

so now it looks like I’m unbothered

like nothing gets to me

like I just let things pass

and sometimes I do

but not always

sometimes I just choose not to show it

because I learned

everything don’t need a reaction

everything don’t deserve access

to how I feel

and everything I feel

don’t need to be explained

but that don’t mean

it didn’t affect me

I just don’t express it the same

I don’t fall apart in front of people

I don’t explain every thought

some things I carry quietly

because I know how to

and maybe that’s why it’s misunderstood

because calm don’t always look like depth

and silence don’t always mean nothing

sometimes it just mean

I’m choosing how I show up

I look unbothered, that’s how it seem

but it’s a lot that I don’t speak

I feel it all, I just don’t show

I learned to hold what people don’t

I keep it calm, I keep it clean

but that don’t mean it don’t hit deep

I just don’t move how I used to be

I don’t let everything out of me

I’m not unbothered

I just learned

how to handle it