No way back

I used to think the dream was the way out, now I don’t even know what I’m running from. I been livin’ in a dream that don’t feel real, every win I get just numb what I feel, lights so bright but they never reveal all the scars that I never could heal. I been talkin’ to myself in the dark again, same voice tellin’ me it all starts again, I chased the sky till I lost where I am, now I don’t even know who I am.

Cold floor nights, no sleep in the house, quiet pain I could never speak out, mama prayed but I never leaned out, had to learn what the silence about. Empty fridge but I filled my mind, big dreams in a borrowed time, every “no” was a loaded sign, tellin’ me I was close to the line. I ain’t grow up with no safety net, just regrets I ain’t made yet, every friend I lost to a fake check, every hug turned into a debt. I was livin’ in survival mode, heart heavy but I never showed, every step felt like overload, still I walked that broken road.

I been livin’ in a dream that don’t feel real, every win I get just numb what I feel, lights so bright but they never reveal all the scars that I never could heal. I been talkin’ to myself in the dark again, same voice tellin’ me it all starts again, I chased the sky till I lost where I am, now I don’t even know who I am.

Now it’s glass rooms, city glow, people smile but I feel alone, they all here for the status I own, not the kid that I buried below. Fast life but it’s moving slow, every party just another show, I got everything I used to want but it don’t even feel like I won. Bottles clink but I hear no sound, surrounded but I still feel drowned, every “love” got a price tag now, every touch just a hollow vow. Mirror talks and it don’t reply, just shows me a stranger I can’t deny, same face but the soul gone quiet, like I died but I’m still inside it.

I been livin’ in a dream that don’t feel real, every win I get just numb what I feel, lights so bright but they never reveal all the scars that I never could heal. I been talkin’ to myself in the dark again, same voice tellin’ me it all starts again, I chased the sky till I lost where I am, now I don’t even know who I am.

I thought the top would feel like peace, but it just made the noise increase, now I’m drownin’ in my own release, tryna find what I used to be. Everything I built got cracks in it, every smile got an act in it, every step feel backwards again like I never really left the pen. Maybe the dream was never real, maybe I don’t know how to heal, maybe I traded my soul for the feel of something I could never keep still. I remember bein’ broke and numb, now I’m rich but I feel like none, like the version of me that won got lost in the weight of what I’ve become.

I been livin’ in a dream that don’t feel real, every win I get just numb what I feel, lights so bright but they never reveal all the scars that I never could heal. I been talkin’ to myself in the dark again, same voice tellin’ me it all starts again, I chased the sky till I lost

Dark experimental hip hop, 60-75 BPM, ambient drones, minimal drums, slow doom rap flow, cinematic, bleak, bass guitar