Small changes

I don’t even know when the fuck it started shifting

one day I just looked around and something was different

same streets same faces same tired ass rhythm

but I swear I don’t move through it the same as I did then

used to think change would hit like a breakdown or warning

some big dramatic moment where everything’s falling

but nah it’s quieter than that it’s slow and it’s boring

just life stacking up decisions you stop even noticing

skipping shit I said I’d do “tomorrow for sure”

then tomorrow turns into months and it don’t matter no more

little habits turn into the shape of your day

and one day you wake up and you just stayed that way

people still know my name but it don’t feel the same

like I’m wearing it wrong like it doesn’t belong to my frame

and I can’t even point to the exact fucking second

when I stopped being whoever I thought I was headed

I used to care about shit now I just move through it

respond when I have to don’t feel much to it

not broken just kind of disconnected

like my own damn life feels half-expected

I see old memories and they hit like a stranger

same face different meaning like it’s pointing to danger

like that version of me wouldn’t recognize me now

and I can’t even explain how I got here somehow

it wasn’t trauma it wasn’t collapse it wasn’t a fall

it was just saying “fuck it” a little too often to calls

a little too many nights where I didn’t care at all

and now I’m standing in the sum of it all

I laugh sometimes but it feels automatic

like I learned the motion but lost the magic

like I’m playing myself in a role that I wrote

but I don’t remember the pages or notes

and people say “you’ve changed” like it’s supposed to mean something

but they don’t get it I didn’t feel it coming

it’s not change like fire it’s change like erosion

slow ass disappearance of emotional motion

I still talk to people like I’m in the room

but half the time I’m already out of it too

thinking about nothing or everything at once

like my head can’t decide what the fuck it wants

and I know if I said this out loud it’d sound insane

but I think a lot of people feel the same

just nobody says it because it don’t sound right

like admitting you’re different but still living your life

I don’t hate where I’m at it’s not good or bad

it’s just weird when you think about what you had

how you used to feel shit more directly

now everything’s filtered and slightly disconnected

and the fucked up part is I keep going anyway

same motions same patterns same everyday

like I adapted instead of actually changing

just rearranged without ever arranging

maybe that’s all it is for everybody too

just slower versions of losing what you knew

not a crash not a break not a single event

just time doing what time was meant

and if you listen close you might catch your own line

somewhere in this mess of words and design

because I’m not really talking about me in the end

I’m just saying what happens to most of us