Rubber Chicken Blues

[Intro - Wah-wah guitar, funky bassline, cowbell]
[Groovy, spoken]
Ain't no shock trap gonna hold me down...
I'm rubber, baby... and you're about to bounce.
[Horn stab]
GET DOWN!

[Verse 1 - Funky, playful]
Blue-grey scales and a rubbery hide, shock traps just tickle my inside 
Got a crystal on my head that goes FLASH—now you're dizzy, hope you packed a stash
I waddle forward, I spit some goo, poison purple coming straight for you 
They call me timid, they call me weird, but I've been stealing your loot for years

[Pre-Chorus]
CRYSTAL! (SMASH!)
FLASH! (BLAST!)
POISON! (GAS!)
GYPCEROS! SHAKE YOUR ASS!

[Chorus - Full funk explosion]
GYPCEROS! RUBBER CHICKEN OF THE SWAMP!
GYPCEROS! I'M A FUNKY LITTLE STOMP!
GYPCEROS! SHOCK TRAPS DON'T MEAN A THING!
GYPCEROS! WATCH ME PLAY DEAD—THEN I SPRING!

[Verse 2]
Three little clicks and I'm about to shine, turn away quick or you'll lose your mind 
My tail stretches out like a rubber band, I'll whip you hard from where I stand
I'm not the strongest, not the baddest cat, but I'll steal your potions and that's a fact 
Shiny objects catch my eye, I'll snatch 'em fast and watch you cry

[Pre-Chorus 2]
DEAD! (FAKE!)
STRIKE! (QUAKE!)
LOOT! (TAKE!)
GYPCEROS! FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

[Chorus]
GYPCEROS! RUBBER CHICKEN OF THE SWAMP!
GYPCEROS! I'M A FUNKY LITTLE STOMP!
GYPCEROS! SHOCK TRAPS DON'T MEAN A THING!
GYPCEROS! WATCH ME PLAY DEAD—THEN I SPRING!

[Bridge - Slows down, bass solo]
[Spoken]
You see me on the ground, you think I'm done...
You walk up close to carve...
[Long pause]
FOOL!

[Guitar Solo - Funk guitar, wah pedal, ridiculous]

[Final Chorus - Bigger, brassier]
GYPCEROS! (GYPCEROS!)
RUBBER CHICKEN OF THE SWAMP! (OF THE SWAMP!)
GYPCEROS! (GYPCEROS!)
I'M A FUNKY LITTLE STOMP! (LITTLE STOMP!)
GYPCEROS! (GYPCEROS!)
SHOCK TRAPS DON'T MEAN A THING! (MEAN A THING!)
GYPCEROS! (GYPCEROS!)
WATCH ME PLAY—

[Outro]
[Sudden stop. Single bass thump.]
[Whispered]
...dead.
[Pause]
Boo.
[Silence.]

Funk, Nerdcore, male