[Intro - Upstroke guitar, bouncy bass, then HORNS blast in]
[Cheerful, slightly ironic]
One! Two! Three! Four!
[Horns play melodic line from "Sell Out" but frog-ified]
Ribbit! Pick it up! Pick it up! Ribbit!
[Verse 1 - Aaron Barrett-style vocals, self-deprecating]
I woke up in the Frozen Seaway, Volcanic Hollow too
Been chillin' here for centuries, ain't got much else to do
My tusks are big, my tail gets white when I'm a little mad
But honestly? I'm just a frog who's kinda kinda sad
They come at me with hammers, thinkin' they're so tough
I throw some rocks, they dodge around, guess that's not enough
I swell up, I look real tough, I try my hardest fight
But deep down I'm just a bulldog frog who's terrified of height
[Pre-Chorus - Building with horns]
ROCKS! (OUT!)
TUSKS! (ABOUT!)
HUNTERS! (SHOUT!)
TETSUCABRA! KNOCK 'EM OUT!
[Chorus - Full skank, horns blasting]
TETSUCABRA! FROG WITH THE TUSKS!
TETSUCABRA! THROWIN' ROCKS IS A MUST!
TETSUCABRA! MY TAIL GLOWS WHEN I'M MAD!
TETSUCABRA! AND MY CAREER? IT'S KINDA SAD!
(Pick it up!)
[Verse 2 - More self-aware, ironic]
They call me an Amphibian, first of my kind they say
Introduced in Monster Hunter 4, I guess I'm here to stay
But Zamtrios gets all the hype, that shark-frog's got the style
I'm just the guy who digs up rocks and throws 'em for a while
Berserk subspecies? Yeah, my rocks explode on touch
Drilltusk Deviant? My tusks are bigger—still not cool enough
I'm just the OG frog boy, the one who started it all
But do I get respect? Nah, hunters watch me fall
[Pre-Chorus 2]
ROCKS! (FLY!)
TUSKS! (HIGH!)
HUNTERS! (CRY!)
TETSUCABRA! WATCH ME TRY!
[Chorus]
TETSUCABRA! FROG WITH THE TUSKS!
TETSUCABRA! THROWIN' ROCKS IS A MUST!
TETSUCABRA! MY TAIL GLOWS WHEN I'M MAD!
TETSUCABRA! AND MY LIFE? IT'S KINDA SAD!
(Pick it up!)
[Bridge - Slower, almost sincere with horn countermelody]
[Cleaner vocals, like "The Promise" style]
They say my tusks are impact-based, break 'em if you can
They say my tail glows white with rage, hit it if you can stand
But underneath this rocky shell, beneath this froggy face
I'm just a monster tryin' to find my place...
[Beat kicks back in]
...IN YOUR HUNTING LOG!
[Saxophone Solo - Bouncy, joyful, Reel Big Fish style]
[Breakdown - "Sell Out" style gang vocals]
EVERYBODY THROW YOUR ROCKS UP! (HEY!)
EVERYBODY SHOW YOUR TUSKS OFF! (HEY!)
EVERYBODY MAKE YOUR TAIL GLOW! (HEY!)
TETSUCABRA STEALS THE SHOW!
[Horns stab]
[Final Chorus - Max energy, key change]
TETSUCABRA! (TETSUCABRA!)
FROG WITH THE TUSKS! (FROG WITH THE TUSKS!)
TETSUCABRA! (TETSUCABRA!)
THROWIN' ROCKS IS A MUST! (IS A MUST!)
TETSUCABRA! (TETSUCABRA!)
MY TAIL GLOWS WHEN I'M MAD! (WHEN I'M MAD!)
TETSUCABRA! (TETSUCABRA!)
AND MY—
[Outro - Sudden stop, then single guitar strum]
[Spoken, defeated]
...I'm still not popular.
[Horn sting]
Ribbit.
[Final sound - Rock dropping. Silence. Frog croak.]
AsheTheHyena
