[Horns enter with a fanfare — bright, brassy, triumphant — like a carnival arriving in town]
[Aimee (spoken, with a grin you can hear):]
"Ladies and gentlemen.
Boys and girls.
Psychos and skags.
It's time to ride."
[Bass walks down. Drums switch to a full shuffle. Band hits — one massive, joyful chord.]
[Aimee (singing, cheerful):]
"RIDE THE MEAT BICYCLE!"
[Horns play the main riff — classic two-tone]
---
[Verse 1 Sung — bouncy, clean]
[Aimee, bright and clear, with a smile in every word]
I woke up this morning with a spring in my step
Found a brand new bicycle — never mind what's left
Two wheels of wonder, one seat of dread
A handlebar made of something that used to have a head
The tires are a little flat — I don't mean the air
I mean they used to be someone, and now they're just there
But that's recycling, baby, that's the Pandora way
One man's face is another woman's seat — hooray!
---
[Chorus Full band — singalong, joyful]
[Aimee:] RIDE THE MEAT BICYCLE!
[Band:] (MEAT BICYCLE!)
[Aimee:] THROUGH THE DUST AND THE RUBBLE!
[Band:] (DUST AND RUBBLE!)
[Aimee:] I'M A LITTLE BIT PSYCHO
[Band:] (LITTLE BIT!)
[Aimee:] AND I LOVE A LITTLE TROUBLE
[Aimee:] RIDE THE MEAT BICYCLE!
[Band:] (MEAT BICYCLE!)
[Aimee:] PEDAL FAST, PEDAL FASTER!
[Band:] (PEDAL FAST!)
[Aimee:] IF YOU HEAR A SCREAM, DON'T ASK HER
[Band:] (DON'T ASK HER!)
[Aimee:] JUST RIDE THE MEAT BICYCLE — IT'S A MASTERPIECE OF DISASTER!
[Horns play a rising, triumphant melody — pure joy]
---
[Verse 2 Even bouncier]
I took it for a spin down by the old skag nest
A vault hunter saw me — said "that's not a bike, that's a mess"
I said "sir, this is art — you just don't understand
The seat alone took three good men and a marching band"
He tried to run away — that was his first mistake
My bicycle has feelings, and it likes a little chase
I caught him by the collar, said "hop on, take a ride"
He said "I'd rather die" — I said "buddy, that's the vibe"
---
[Chorus Repeats]
---
[Bridge Tempo drops to a stroll — classic rocksteady]
[Bass and drums only — slower, swaying, intimate]
[Aimee (sung, softer, almost tender):]
Some people walk
Some people run
Some people sit and wait for the end to come
But me?
I ride.
I ride something built from the ones who tried.
Every pedal is a promise
Every spoke is a prayer
Every scream from the frame just means I'll get there faster
[Aimee (spoken, matter-of-fact):]
"It's not haunted.
It's motivated."
[Full band crashes back in — faster than before]
---
[Horn Solo (16 bars — trading eights)]
---
[Chorus repeats again]
---
[Outro Breakdown to just bass and vocals]
[Band drops out. Just walking bass and Aimee.]
[Aimee (sung, soft, almost a lullaby):]
Ride the meat bicycle
Through the dust and the rubble
I'm a little bit psycho
And I love a little trouble
[Bass walks down. Stops.]
[Aimee (spoken, warm, like she's tucking you in):]
"Goodnight, everybody.
Don't let the skags bite.
And if they do —
Bite back harder."
AsheTheHyena
