Antler Rambler

[Intro - Fiddle, tin whistle, acoustic guitar strumming fast]
[Irish accent]
HEY! HO! OUTTA MY WAY!
BANBARO'S COMIN' THROUGH TODAY!

[Verse 1 - Fast punk rhythm, accordion underneath]
Roamin' through the Hoarfrost Reach, mindin' my own business
Munchin' on some pine cones, feelin' warmth and fuzziness
Then I hear a shout behind me, hunters on my tail
Think they're gonna take me down? NOT TODAY, MAIL!
I ain't no elder dragon, ain't no fiery beast
I'm just a big ol' ram with horns and a love for forest feasts
But when you start aggressin', I start aggressin' back
I'll pick up a tree and chase you down the track!

[Chorus - Shouted gang vocals, pints raised]
BANBARO! RAMMIN' THROUGH THE SNOW!
BANBARO! WATCH ME PICK UP A LOG AND GO!
BANBARO! FROM THE FOREST TO THE PLAINS!
BANBARO! YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE MY ANTLERS, LANE!

[Verse 2 - Fiddle solo under lyrics]
They followed me to Ancient Forest, thought they had me trapped
I just smiled and grabbed a tree and gave their faces slapped
They ran into the Wildspire, thinkin' sand would slow me down
I found a cactus, swung it wide, and threw it at their clown
(No offense to actual clowns, they're probably real nice)
But hunters who keep chasin' me are payin' a high price!
I'll ramble through the Recess, I'll stomp through Rotted Vale
I'm the Celtic punk wyvern, I'll always prevail!

[Pre-Chorus - Building energy]
My horns are big! My legs are strong!
I've been here all along!
I don't need elements or gimmicks, no!
I'VE JUST GOT ANTLERS—WATCH 'EM GO!

[Chorus - Faster, wilder]
BANBARO! RAMMIN' THROUGH THE SNOW!
BANBARO! WATCH ME PICK UP A LOG AND GO!
BANBARO! FROM THE FOREST TO THE PLAINS!
BANBARO! YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE MY ANTLERS, LANE!

[Bridge - Accordion solo, absolutely unhinged]

[Breakdown - Half-time, heavy stomp]
[Crowd chant]
LEFT ANTLER! (STOMP!)
RIGHT ANTLER! (STOMP!)
BOTH ANTLERS! (STOMP STOMP!)
NOW YOU'RE CARTED!
LEFT ANTLER! (STOMP!)
RIGHT ANTLER! (STOMP!)
BOTH ANTLERS! (STOMP STOMP!)
SONS OF MARTYRS!

[Guitar Solo - Punk rock energy, simple but furious]

[Final Chorus - Everyone screaming]
BANBARO! (BANBARO!)
RAMMIN' THROUGH THE SNOW! (THROUGH THE SNOW!)
BANBARO! (BANBARO!)
WATCH ME PICK UP A LOG AND GO! (LOG AND GO!)
BANBARO! (BANBARO!)
FROM THE FOREST TO THE PLAINS! (TO THE PLAINS!)
BANBARO! (BANBARO!)
YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE MY—
[Sudden stop]
...wait, is that a different tree?
[Band kicks back in]
DOESN'T MATTER—STILL GONNA HIT YA!

[Outro - Fiddle and tin whistle fading into the distance]
Na na na na... na na na na...
Banbaro's ramblin' away...
Na na na na... na na na na...
He'll be back another day...

[Final sound - Distant crashing, muffled yell]
"MEAT!?"

Celtic Punk, Nerdcore, female