He pulled up to the red light, vibrating the ground In a Matte-Black Raptor, the loudest thing in town It’s got the winch, the snorkel, and the LED bar He’s lookin’ like a general in a suburban war He’s sittin’ five feet higher than the rest of the world Tryin’ way too hard to impress a country girl.
But you know what they say ‘bout a man in a tank Who spends his whole paycheck at the lift-kit bank The bigger the shocks, the louder the drone The smaller the secret he’s keepin’ at home.
He’s Captain Tic-Tac, livin’ large in the lane Got a monster on the highway and a pebble in the drain Yeah, he’s revvin’ that engine, blowin’ smoke in the sky But we all know the truth, and the math don't lie He’s got a big-block motor and a whole lot of pride But he’s packin’ light for the carnival ride!
He’s got the "Salt Life" sticker on a truck that’s never seen the beach The door handle’s almost out of human reach He struts into the bar with a "Big Dog" gait But he’s carryin’ some pretty microscopic freight He’s got the mud-flaps flappin’ and the chrome stack high But he’s got a "fun size" problem he just can't deny.
[The music drops out, leaving just a heavy drum beat and a distorted electric guitar] It’s a 4x4, it’s a heavy-duty frame It’s a cry for help with a "Lariat" name He’s got the torque! (He’s got the torque!) He’s got the tow! (He’s got the tow!) But he’s workin’ with a shadow that’ll never grow!
He’s Captain Tic-Tac, livin’ large in the lane Got a monster on the highway and a pebble in the drain Yeah, he’s revvin’ that engine, blowin’ smoke in the sky But we all know the truth, and the math don't lie He’s got a big-block motor and a whole lot of pride But he’s packin’ light for the carnival ride!
[High-energy finale with a soaring guitar solo] Yeah, he’s minty fresh! Small but mighty... well, mostly just small. Keep on truckin’, Captain. [Fades out with the sound of a very loud, overcompensating horn]
LowlightFigures
