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Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Sink in the mattress
Phone on mute
Ceiling fan spinning like bad news
Dark in the daytime
Smile like a landmine
Friends think I’m fine, but I flatline
Scrolling my sins in the blue light
Prayers in the draft that I can’t write
Mama say “church, that’ll fix it”
I been in pews, still feel wicked
[Chorus]
I’m tryna find God in this hell I’m in
Hands together but my head still spins
If He really perfect, why He feel so distant?
Even God got demons, that’s why He don’t listen
I’m tryna find God in this hell I’m in
Talkin’ to the ceiling like it’s all I’ve got
If He really holy, why I feel so beaten?
Even God got demons, maybe that’s why I’m lost
[Verse 2]
Bible on the nightstand
Dust on the edges
Used it as a coaster for my antidepressants
I say “amen” just to end the question
Like “you good, bro?” I just change the subject
Therapist talk like a podcast clip
“Breathe in, breathe out, catch your negative scripts”
I breathe, I doubt, still my chest feels ripped
If there’s a plan, this can’t be it
[Bridge]
[low vocal register]
What if heaven just a waiting room
For people scared to stay here?
What if grace already in the wound
And it just stains like old tears?
[whispered vocals]
If He see me, why He silent?
If He love me, why this violence in my head?
I ain’t tryna curse His name
I just want a reason I ain’t dead
[Chorus]
Details
GeneratedJan 1, 2026
Duration2:39
LanguageEnglish
Style
rap, Moody trap ballad with spacious piano over deep, warm bass, slow head-nod drums, and eerie reversed pads. Male vocals, intimate and close-mic in the verses, almost whispered in spots. Hook opens up with layered doubles and a distant, distorted harmony for a haunted gospel feel. Sparse ad-libs, wide reverb on key phrases, and a late-song lift with subtle choir oohs before dropping back to bare vocal and keys., sad
Credits
Prompt byPUFFER
ModelAria v5
Prompt
Sad rap on mental health and trying to find god in this hell but even god has his demons
