(sad, broken, desperate, introspective; “suicidal” used as emotional description only) What’s it like… bein’ me? Wakin’ up feelin’ suicidal before I even breathe… What’s it like to wake up… and be meee…? It’s a coooold… and haaauuunted… fairy-taaaale dreeeaaam… Every mornin’ I’m fallin’, can’t hear my own screeeaam, Weeaak… tears… shaaake… till my bones wanna breaaak… And you swear I look normal — but inside I’m wastin’ away. “…I don’t wanna die… I just wanna feel alivvve again…” But the truth is… these suicidal thoughts don’t even let me pretend. So what’s it like? …Fine, I’ll stop lyin’. It’s a suicidal silence sittin’ heavy in my chest, A depression so violent it never lets me rest. It’s anxiety and trauma havin’ midday debates, And I’m stuck in the middle gettin’ shredded by the weight. I laugh it off — but I’m barely survivin’, barely breathin’, fakin’ conversations while my suicidal mind is screamin’. Not killin’ nobody — just the ghosts in the west end of my mind, the memories that choke me, keep me suicidal inside. He thought he was playin’ — but the damage stayed playin’, and I’m stuck with the ruins that his choices keep layin’. It’s deeper than anger — it’s a suicidal ache, A sadness so sharp it makes my ribcage shake. A punch that never landed but still shatters my sleep, A war that never ended but I’m the one it keeps. It’s a mind full of suicidal storms that I can’t out-run, Every heartbeat trembling like I’m comin’ undone. Every memory’s a trigger I keep tryin’ to outlive, But the past don’t forget, and it never forgives. It’s the ache, it’s the shake, it’s the frost in my veins, It’s the tears that froze solid from unbearable pain. It’s the suicidal whisper that I swallow again, While pretendin’ I’m fine just to make it to the end. It’s livin’ in a nightmare I can’t rewrite, It’s prayin’ for a sunrise that avoids my sight. It’s a heart barely beatin’, a mind barely holdin’, A soul locked in place while the darkness keeps foldin’. It’s the whisper of tomorrow lookin’ just like today, And the hope that I had slowly rottin’ away…

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