Yeah…
They don’t see the nights I still flinch in my sleep,
The way my body remembers secrets I keep.
The way a touch can feel like a threat,
The way my heart still braces for what comes next.
I was too young to understand what was wrong,
Too scared to scream, too small to be strong.
They took something from me that I can’t rewind,
Left fingerprints on my soul, not just my mind.
I learned silence before I learned trust,
Learned how to freeze, how to survive, how to adjust.
Learned how to smile when I wanted to disappear,
Learned how to live with a permanent fear.
I’m talking to you, yeah, the girl in the mirror,
The one who still tenses when someone gets near her.
The one who loves hard but keeps one foot back,
‘Cause safety once broke and it never came back.
It wasn’t just that… it was all of it stacked,
The yelling, the hitting, the words that attacked.
Being taught you’re worthless, being taught you’re to blame,
Being taught love always comes with pain.
So now I overthink, I overfeel, I overcare,
I read every tone, every breath, every stare.
I apologize for things that aren’t even mine,
‘Cause my nervous system’s still stuck in that time.
I’m strong now, yeah, but not in the way they think,
Not fearless, just learned how to stand on the brink.
I carry compassion like armor and ache,
‘Cause I know what it’s like when your world gets taken.
It shaped how I love, how I trust, how I cry,
How I hold my heart, how I look in God’s eyes.
It made me gentle, it made me aware,
It made me a protector of kids who are scared.
I’m not broken.
I’m not ruined.
I’m not what they tried to turn me into.
I’m a survivor with a soft, beating heart,
Still choosing love after being torn apart.
Still choosing kindness, still choosing to feel,
Still choosing to heal from what was too real.
So yeah, it changed me, I won’t pretend it didn’t,
Trauma rewires the soul, every limit.
But it didn’t own me, it didn’t define,
It just became part of the story I survived.
I’m still here.
I’m still loving.
I’m still gentle in a world that wasn’t.
And that…
That’s my power.
trixses
