Pipe Overload

“Long Black Pipe, Pt. 4 (Kurt Overdid It)”

By The Pipe Wranglers

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Kurt was doin’ fine, just ridin’ the line,

Takin’ one black pipe at a time.

But temptation hit like a midnight train,

He said, “Load me up, I can take the strain!”

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Started with two, then four, then eight,

By lunchtime he was pipe-sick, leanin’ on fate.

Eyes rolled back like a busted fuse,

Yelled “MORE PIPE” while he kicked off his shoes.

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Now Kurt’s got a fever, sweatin’ through his shirt,

Too much black pipe done broke that flirt.

The doc said, “Son, you went too far,”

He’s got pipe dreams and a hospital card.

You can chase that thrill, you can ride that hype—

But Lord have mercy, that’s too much pipe.

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He was babblin’ names, speakin’ in tongues,

Talkin’ ‘bout brothers and truck stop runs.

The crew tried to stop him, but he ran on back,

Shoutin’ “Line me up like a cul-de-sac!”

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Now he’s laid up, hummin’ old soul tunes,

Hooked to fluids and cartoon loons.

The nurse said “Sir, you need some rest,”

He whispered, “Just one more for my chest…”

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Kurt’s pipe-sick now, lessons learned the hard way,

Too many pipes made his soul go astray.

He flew too close to that steamin’ light,

And got knocked flat by the long black pipe.

So if you ride, son, ride with pride—

But pace yourself…

or you’ll pipe and die.