“Take My Vest Away”
(A love ballad from Kurt… to strong black men on the crew)
(Slow synths, dramatic wind machine, shirt unbuttoned way too low)
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[Verse 1]
Movin’ day, he’s struttin’ in slow-mo,
Biceps flexin’ underneath that polo.
I’m checkin’ tape but I just can’t think straight…
When he lifts that dresser—lord, I levitate.
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[Pre-Chorus]
I told the crew I’d help with wrap,
But I was dreamin’ ‘bout his traps…
He picked up that fridge, I dropped my phone—
Please, God, let us ride alone.
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[Chorus – with full fog machine]
Take… my vest awayyyyy
(Kurt’s voice crackin’ on the high note)
He don’t need a dolly, nooooo—he lift the pain away!
Take… my vest awayyyyy
I tried to clock out, but he just clocked in,
Now I’m feelin’ things again…
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[Verse 2 – Spoken Dramatically]
“Dispatch gave me a double…
But all I need is a double bicep curl.”
Cue sensual synth saxophone
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[Bridge – Overly Emotional]
He said “grab that strap,” I said “say it again…”
He threw on his gloves—I needed oxygen!
Every move he made was poetry in boots,
He said, “you got the handtruck?”
I said, “I got the truth…”
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[Chorus – Full choir joins in]
Take… my vest awayyyyy
I labeled boxes, but he labeled my heart today
Take… my vest awayyyyy
He don’t wrap with tape—he wraps my soul, okay?
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[Outro – Fading Synths, Shirtless in the Rain] Jerome on the job…
Kurt on the floor…
He moved his couch,
But he wants… more.
[Soft whisper]
Square Cow… forever.