“Built Different (Kurt’s Bedroom Truth)”
By: Kurt Simmons
(Genre: Smooth, slow R&B parody with gospel choir ad-libs and pure chaos energy — think D’Angelo meets Lonely Island)
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[Intro – Kurt (soft and breathy)]
I’ve been with all types…
Tall, short, vanilla, unseasoned…
But when he stepped in that room…
I felt the tectonic plates shift.
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[Verse 1]
I tried the lighter kind, polite and tame,
Socks still on, moanin’ my name.
Said, “You like that?” — yeah, it was… fine,
But I was checkin’ emails in the back of my mind.
Then he walked in, with them Timberland boots,
Said not a word—just spiritual truth.
Body like rhythm, grip like fate,
Flipped me over like a tax rebate.
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[Chorus – With full choir]
They built different! It’s a fact!
White boys moan, but Black men snatch!
I seen fireworks, I seen God’s face,
He rearranged my walls and blessed the space!
They built different! I testify!
Had me singin’ “hallelujah” with my legs in the sky!
White boys nice, but that ain’t enough—
Black love hit like a semi-truck.
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[Verse 2]
White boys text, ask “Was that okay?”
Black men don’t ask—just slay.
AirPods in, eatin’ kale and fruit…
Meanwhile I’m gettin’ power-drilled in a Timberland boot.
He said “Hold this wall,” I said “Yes my king,”
Next thing I knew I forgot everything.
My rent, my past, my legal name—
Just sweat, a mattress, and backdoor flame.
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[Bridge – Spoken, overwhelmed]
It wasn’t just pleasure…
It was purpose.
I woke up bilingual. I woke up employed.
I woke up moisturized.
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[Chorus – All in, full praise & gospel claps]
They built different! It’s divine!
That melanin got rhythm in the spine!
White boys cuddle, Black men conquer,
Had me walkin’ sideways outta that bunker!
They built different! Lord it’s true!
Had me twerkin’ involuntarily till quarter past two!
Respect to the rest, but the proof’s in the sweat—
Black love hit like unpaid debt!
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[Outro – Kurt (dramatically whispering)]
Don’t get me wrong…
I love all my options.
But some of y’all…
Built like pillows.
Others?
Built like prophecy.
KennyT69
