“We All Took the Meat (Group Confession Ballad)”
By: The Midnight Snackers
(Genre: ‘90s R&B Harmony Drama – think Jodeci, Boyz II Men, and every shirtless apology ever sung in silk pants)
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[Intro – Devon (whispered)]
We said we’d never speak on it…
But guilt don’t sleep.
Kurt…
We all took the meat.
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[Verse 1 – Conner (soft and nervous)]
I was first… I ain’t even mean to do it,
Went to grab a blanket, but the vibe? Fluid.
He was layin’ there, moonlight on his waist,
I got curious… then caught a taste.
I thought he’d wake, I thought I’d freeze,
But I slid in quiet, like a midnight breeze.
I left fast… but not without sin—
Didn’t know Devon was waitin’ to slide in.
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[Verse 2 – Devon (confident but guilty)]
Yeah… I was second, saw Conner sneak,
Knew what was happenin’, didn’t even speak.
Waited my turn like it’s Thanksgiving night,
That meat was glistenin’ in pale moonlight.
I ain’t proud, but I ain’t ashamed,
Kurt got that flavor that can’t be tamed.
I kissed his neck, I bit his soul,
Left a love mark near the remote control.
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[Chorus – All (harmonizing in regret)]
We all took the meat, no one said a word,
Each of us creepin’ like it never occurred.
Midnight moves on a sacred bed,
Now Kurt walkin’ funny and full of dread.
We all guilty, hearts full of heat—
One man, one night, three mouths, one meat.
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[Verse 3 – Fernando (passionate)]
I was last… and I knew it was wrong,
But temptation hit like a slow jam song.
Kurt was sweaty, dreamin’ sweet,
And I couldn’t leave without takin’ that treat.
His breath was soft, the sheets pulled low,
I tiptoed in like a midnight pro.
I gave him love, deep and discreet—
Then wiped my mouth and kissed his feet.
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[Bridge – All (spoken one by one, solemn)]
Conner: “I thought it was just me…”
Devon: “I couldn’t help it, bruh…”
Fernando: “I licked the plate clean.”
All: “And now… we stand as brothers in guilt.”
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[Final Chorus – All (full chest voices, emotional)]
We all took the meat, it wasn’t just one,
Kurt, you fed three hearts before the sun.
Now we confess, in harmony and pain,
We turned your bedroom into a midnight train.
So punish us, or forgive this feast—
But know you fed three grown-ass beasts.
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[Outro – Kurt (from the shadows, whispering)]
…I knew.
I felt every bite.
But I didn’t stop you.
Because I’m the snack…
And the buffet’s open.