My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, "IS THAT LEGAL?!"
Damn right, it's illegal — better than yours!
I could teach you, but you'd need a lawyer... and a priest... and a hazmat suit
My milkshake brings all the boys (and the fire department) to the yard
And they're like, "WHY IS IT SCREAMING?!"
Damn right, it's screaming better than yours
I tried to make it "thicc" — now it's possessed, send help
[Verse 1 – Blender Apocalypse]
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, YEET IT UP
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, the neighbors called the cops
Started with vanilla, added gummy worms, regret, and expired yogurt
Threw in a whole unpeeled banana (peel included, vibes), glitter glue, and my old gym socks
Now it's pulsing like an alien egg, glowing neon puce
One whiff and Chad's on the ground doing the worm, yelling "I SEE MY LIFE FLASHING IN PINK!"
[Chorus – Escalation]
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And the girls, the dogs, a random raccoon, and a news helicopter
Damn right, it's better than yours — it's a biohazard TikTok trend!
I could teach you, but Darwin said "Please don't"
[Verse 2 – Full Meltdown Mode]
Warm it up (it's self-heating now, oops)
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, the yard's on fire somehow
Added pickle juice, Pop Rocks, expired ranch, and three mystery energy drinks
Now it's foaming like a rabid yeti, shooting sparks, attracting UFOs (true story)
Karen's livestreaming "Gen Z makes Edible Chernobyl – 5 stars??"
The boys are simping so hard they're proposing to the cup
One tried to chug it — now he's speaking fluent dolphin
[Bridge – Spoken-word chaos, whispering intensely]
Boys be like: "Can I get the recipe?"
Nah bro, this is classified war crime smoothie
It's got notes of "what if regret was a flavor?"
One sip and you're astral projecting into the group chat
Two sips and you're married to the blender
Three sips and the FBI shows up asking for "the thing"
[Final Mega-Chorus – Pure Pandemonium]
My milkshake brings ALL THE BOYS to the yard
And the SWAT team, my mom, three influencers, and Bigfoot (he wants seconds)
Damn right, it's better than yours — it's trending on the dark web!
I could teach you... but the Geneva Convention said "We’re good, thanks"
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, cleanup on aisle apocalypse
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, boys still trying to slurp it (send bleach)
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
And now the yard's a federally protected disaster site. You're welcome!
TracyCleveland77