"Pick My Poison"

Yeah…

I pick my poison, and I drink it slow

No one kills me… like the me I know

2003, age eleven

Fell from grace, far from heaven

Found a belt just layin’ around

Swung it wild, took a kid down

Next day guilt hit my chest

Told him sorry, he said "God bless"

We were cool… but it never left

The taste of rage still on my breath

Another boy rolled by my zone

Bike wheels spinning, I was cold as stone

Held a rock, yeah, big and mean

Swung it hard like a bad dream

Saw red, bump on his head

Ran fast home, thought he was dead

But he never came back with hate

He gave me space, he knew my weight

I pick my poison, I made my bed

With scars and fire inside my head

One kiss stolen, a face got slapped

Scissors chased me, heart beat trapped

I was just a kid in a rebel shell

Living like I’m walking hell

Taste the candy, taste the smoke

Sweet can bitter, truth will choke

Fights at school, flipped the desk

Put a kid’s face where the teacher rests

Told him loud, "Don’t mess again"

He said sorry, then brought the pain

Pulled a knife, I ran like fire

Another life, another wire

Close to death, too many times

I danced on edges, crossed the lines

Snuck out through the hole in the back

Skipped on rules, never looked back

Jumped on walls, threw up flames

Fireworks flying, dodged the names

Smoked once, tasted like lies

Coughed it out, no second tries

Even stole some candy treats

Put it in my pants like it’s just sweets

I pick my poison, I made my bed

With scars and fire inside my head

One kiss stolen, a face got slapped

Scissors chased me, heart beat trapped

I was just a kid in a rebel shell

Living like I’m walking hell

Taste the candy, taste the smoke

Sweet can bitter, truth will choke

One-time taste, never again

But I knew I wasn’t innocent then

The wrong road, one twist away

But something deep was gonna change my way

I was the trouble, the fear, the fight

The shadow creeping late at night

But inside me, the war was loud

A lost kid screaming in the crowd

I pick my poison…

And nothing can kill me…

Like the damage

Only that poison can do to me...