(dark UK sad‑rap, high‑pitch hook, deep layered voices, metaphorical suicidal energy)
⸻
HOOK (high‑pitch, stretched, broken‑sounding)
What’s it like to wake up… and be meee…
Is it a cooold… and haaauuunted… fairy‑taaaale dreeeaaam?
Every mornin’ I’m fallin’, I can’t hear my own screeeaam…
Blue eyes flicker — st‑st‑stutter in the steam…
I don’t wanna die… I just wanna feel alive again…
⸻
VERSE 1 — (deeper, darker, personal)
What’s it like bein’ me?
It’s this hollow routine.
Wake up lost, feelin’ empty, stuck inside a bad dream.
Wonderin’ if anyone sees what I’m really thinkin’ —
Or if I’m drownin’ in shadows where nobody’s listenin’.
It’s pain in my ribcage, cold in my spine,
It’s anxiety crawlin’ like a parasite in my mind.
It’s depression like a fog that never lets me see,
And the voice in my skull keeps whisperin’
“suicidal tendencies…” (metaphorically)
I feel guilt, feel shame, feel punished by fate,
Like I opened Pandora’s box and invited all this hate.
Trauma from the west end, diggin’ claws in my brain,
Sometimes the memories hit so hard I shake with shame.
James Patterson — that’s the name on the page,
But I feel like a ghost, like I ain’t lived my own age.
Army boots, police academy, tryin’ to stand tall,
But inside?
I’m collapsin’ — barely holdin’ it at all.
⸻
CHORUS (haunting, layered voices)
What’s it like to be me?
It’s a cold broken echo in a heart that bleeds.
It’s metaphorical suicidal storms — circlin’ my mind,
It’s a life full of battles that I fight blind.
It’s the shake…
the ache…
the breath I can’t breathe…
Yeah… that’s what it’s like to be me.
⸻
VERSE 2 — (even darker, deeper metaphor)
Some days I’m steady, some hours I cope,
But most nights I’m tight‑ropin’ over the end of my hope.
Anxietyyy rattlin’ — like chains on my chest,
Depression whisperin’ secrets I ain’t ready to confess.
I’m haunted by choices — the ones I didn’t take,
The moments I missed, the ones that still ache.
Feel like life robbed me, left me half‑alive,
Like I’m drivin’ through darkness with no headlights.
Blue‑eyed stare in the mirror — can’t recognise the man,
Just a hollow silhouette who forgot his own plan.
James Patterson on paper…
but in my mind I’m undone,
A soldier, a cop‑in‑training, but inside I’m none.
I pretend I’m okay, pretend I ain’t breakin’,
But my heartbeat feels like a house that’s earthquakin’.
Nobody to talk to, it’s me and my fears,
Stutterin’ through the pain, drownin’ in weak tears.
It’s trauma
buried
deep
like a landmine in my chest,
And I’m walkin’ through a battlefield
callin’ it “rest.”
⸻
OUTRO (soft, fading, trembling)
What’s it like to be me?
It’s a question that hurts more than it frees…
But if you hear these words and feel the same screams —
Just know you ain’t alone in the dark with your dreams…
Yeah…
that’s what it’s like…
to be me.
jamespatterson