Coin Flip Father

You ever flip a coin so many times

you forget which side is real?

Yeah… that’s you.

You walk in like a stranger wearing my last name

Same face, new mood, I’m the one you rearrange

One day I’m your “baby girl,” I’m your pride, your light

Next day I’m a ghost you don’t even recognize

You call me dramatic, say I twist up the past

But I learned how to bend truth watching you snap

You’re a puzzle with pieces that don’t wanna fit

And I spent my whole childhood tryna finish your script

Ashtray lullabies, empty bottle apologies

You swear this time’s different—yeah, you always promise me

You hug me like you mean it, then you vanish again

Guess love to you is just a temporary trend

I learned early how to read the room

The way your silence always spelled my doom

Tiptoe prayers, don’t make a sound

‘Cause one wrong breath and you’re burning it down

You’re a coin flip father, heads I’m yours

Tails I’m nothing, you close the door

Two different men in the same damn skin

Tell me which one I’m supposed to call “dad” again

I was never enough to make you stay

But always too much when you walked away

You love me… or you don’t, it’s a gamble I know

I’m just the daughter of your highs and your lows

You got more personalities than days in a week

And I memorized them all just to keep the peace

There’s the version that laughs, says he’s proud of me

Then the one that disappears like I’m make-believe

You ever wonder why I don’t pick up your calls?

‘Cause I don’t know which voice is on the other side at all

Is it “I miss you kid” or “you’re dead to me”?

Funny how both still sound like a threat to me

You made me feel crazy for feeling hurt

Like I had to earn love just to prove my worth

Now I flinch at affection, I question it quick

‘Cause love shouldn’t feel like a switch that just flips

I kept your secrets like they were mine

Covered your chaos, called it “fine”

But I grew up, I see it clear

I was the child, you were the fear

You’re a coin flip father, heads I’m yours

Tails I’m nothing, you close the door

Two different men in the same damn skin

Tell me which one I’m supposed to call “dad” again

I was never enough to make you stay

But always too much when you walked away

You love me… or you don’t, it’s a gamble I know

I’m just the daughter of your highs and your lows

I used to wait by the phone…

Like maybe this time you’d come home sober

Maybe this time you’d remember my birthday

Maybe this time… I’d matter longer than a moment

But I’m done flipping coins

Done praying to chance

I deserved a father

Not a circumstance

So here’s the truth you never had the guts to face

I outgrew the chaos, I outlived the ache

I built a spine from every time you let me fall

And now I don’t need you to answer at all

You don’t get to claim me on your better days

When your worst ones are the ones that made me this way

I’m not your maybe, your sometimes, your phase

I’m the proof that I survived your maze