[Intro – Festival goes silent. Branches crack throughout the darkness as enormous footsteps approach.]
THUMP…
THUMP…
THUMP…
[Devil]
Big fella…
How many did you bring?
[Thousands of animal calls erupt.]
[Bigfoot]
…all of ’em.
[Massive riff detonates.]
YOOOOODEL-AY-HOOOOOO!!
⸻
[Verse 1 – Southern metal groove stomps forward with enormous industrial drums.]
Bigfoot marched out through the timber,
Pine trees shaking left and right,
Bears came charging down behind him,
Ready for another night!
Deer came bouncing through the campground,
Raccoons raided someone’s beer,
Squirrels riding on the speakers—
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!
[Crowd]
BIGFOOT!
BIGFOOT!
BIGFOOT!
BIGFOOT!
[Bigfoot]
YODEL-AY-HEEEEE!!
⸻
[Pre-Chorus – Industrial bass builds as the forest itself joins the rhythm.]
Hear the branches!
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!
Whole damn forest—
COMING BACK!
Claws and paws!
Hooves and fur!
SOMEBODY’S BEAR JUST STOLE MY SHIRT!!
⸻
[Chorus – Crushing guitars explode with a massive woodland choir.]
BIGFOOT BROUGHT THE WHOLE DAMN WOODS!!
Every critter yodeling like they should!
YODEL-AY-HEE!
YODEL-AY-HOO!
BEARS DON’T KNOW THE WORDS—
BUT THEY’RE TRYING TOO!!
Shake those trees!
Stomp that ground!
TURN THAT FOREST UPSIDE DOWN!
YODEL-AY-HEE-YODEL-AY-HOO!!
BIGFOOT BROUGHT THE WHOLE—
DAMN—
WOOOOOODS!!
⸻
[Verse 2 – Tempo accelerates. Animals overrun the festival.]
Possum hanging from the lighting,
Bobcat screaming with the band,
Three drunk elk are headbang dancing,
Sheriff doesn’t understand!
Beavers dragging in a tree trunk,
Wolf pack howling harmony,
One pissed-off goose stole the microphone—
AND WON’T GIVE THE DAMN THING BACK TO ME!!
[Goose]
HONK! HONK! HONK!
[Devil]
GET THAT BIRD OFF MY STAGE!!
⸻
[Breakdown – Industrial EDM turns mechanical and frantic as Bigfoot leads the forest in rapid-fire yodeling.]
[Bigfoot]
YO-DEL-YO-DEL-YO-DEL-YO-DEL!
[Forest]
AY-HEE!
AY-HOO!
[Bigfoot]
YODELAYHEE-YODELAYHOO!
[Forest]
YODELAYHEE-YODELAYHOO!
[Bears]
RAAAAHHH-YODEL-AY-HOO!!
[Wolves]
AWOOOOO-AY-HEEEEE!!
[Goose]
HONK!!
[Crowd]
FASTER!!
[Everything]
YO-DELAYHEE-YO-DELAYHOO-YO-DELAYHEE-YO-DELAYHOO!!
⸻
[Final Chorus – Entire festival and forest collide into one enormous anthem.]
BIGFOOT BROUGHT THE WHOLE DAMN WOODS!!
AND THE WOODS ARE FEELING PRETTY DAMN GOOD!!
YODEL-AY-HEE!
YODEL-AY-HOO!
EVERYTHING WITH FUR KNOWS WHAT TO DO!!
Raise those paws!
Raise those claws!
NATURE DON’T GIVE A DAMN ’BOUT LAWS!
YODEL-AY-HEE-YODEL-AY-HOO!!
[Crowd]
BIGFOOT! BIGFOOT! BIGFOOT! BIGFOOT!
[Bigfoot – Thunderous]
YOOOOOOOOODEL-AY-HOOOOOO!!
[Entire forest]
YODEL-AY-HEEEEEEEE!!
⸻
[Outro – Music stops. The festival grounds are completely overrun.]
[Devil]
Well…
That got outta hand.
[Sheriff]
OUTTA HAND?!
There’s a bear in my cruiser!
[A car horn sounds.]
HONK! HONK!
[Sheriff]
…
That’s it.
I’m done.
[Devil]
You’re leaving?
[Sheriff]
Nope.