[Intro – Dead silence after the mountains collapse. Smoke rolls across the valley. A deep distorted heartbeat rises underground.]
BOOM…
BOOM…
BOOM…
[Ground splits open.]
[Deep Voice]
You woke the mountains…
You shook the dead…
You rattled the gates…
OF HELL.
[Festival goes silent.]
[Deep Voice]
And then…
YOU STOPPED?
[Flames erupt.]
I SAID—
ENCORE!!
[Crushing guitars explode.]
———
[Verse 1 – Dark southern metal swagger crashes into industrial EDM. The Devil rises through fire as the crowd backs away.]
Red smoke rolling, blackened sky,
Something wicked climbing high!
Horned shadow, burning eyes,
Hellfire ripping through the night!
Everybody holds their breath,
Face to face with living death.
He grabs the mic and looks around—
THEN CRANKS THE FUCKING VOLUME LOUD!!
[Devil]
I heard that yodel down below…
NOW SHOW ME HOW THAT BASTARD GOES!!
———
[Chorus – Colossal drums detonate as the entire festival answers.]
THE DEVIL WANTS AN ENCORE!!
GIVE HIM ONE MORE!!
YODEL-AY-HEE!
YODEL-AY-HO!
SHAKE THE FIRE DOWN BELOW!!
HELL AIN’T READY!
HEAVEN KNOWS!
EVERYBODY LOSE CONTROL!!
YODEL-AY-HEE-YODEL-AY-HOOOO!!
[Devil]
AGAIN!!
———
[Verse 2 – Faster. Hellish guitars scream while industrial bass pounds like infernal machinery.]
Demons pouring through the gate,
Pitchforks swinging to the break!
Devil stomps his burning boot,
Throws his horns and joins us too!
Flames start dancing with the beat,
Lava pumping underneath!
He turns around toward Hell and cries—
GET YOUR ASSES TOPSIDE!!
[Demons]
YODEL-AY-HEE!!
[Festival]
YODEL-AY-HO!!
[Devil]
THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!!
———
[Breakdown – Tempo falls into an enormous crushing groove. Devil and festival face each other.]
[Devil]
You call THAT a yodel?
[Festival]
OH YEAH?!
[Devil]
COME ON THEN!!
[Festival]
YO-DELAYEE-YO-DELAYOO!
HEE-YA-HEE-YA-HOOOO!
[Devil]
YODEL-AY-HEE-YODEL-AY-HO!
HEE-YA-HO-YA-HEEEEE-HO!!
[Festival]
FASTER!!
[Rapid Yodel Battle]
YO-DELYO-DELYO-DELYO-DEL!
HEEYAHEEYAHEEYAHO!
YO-DELAYEE-YODELAYOO!
HEE-YA-HO-YA-HEE-YA-HO!!
[Devil]
FASTER!!
YO-DELAYEEYODELAYOO-
HEEYAHOHEEYAHO-
YO-DELYO-DELYO-DELYO-DEEEEEL!!
[Silence.]
[Festival]
…
HOLY SHIT.
[Devil laughs.]
———
[Final Chorus – Hell and Earth erupt together. Demons, humans and mountains form one enormous yodeling choir.]
THE DEVIL WANTS AN ENCORE!!
GIVE HIM TEN MORE!!
YODEL-AY-HEE!
YODEL-AY-HO!
LET THAT WHOLE DAMN UNDERWORLD KNOW!!
EARTH IS SHAKING!
HELL IS ROARING!
AIN’T NOBODY LEAVING TILL MORNING!!
YODEL-AY-HEE-YODEL-AY-HO!
YO-DELAYEE-YO-DELAYOO!
[Devil]
LOUDER!!
[Everyone]
YODEL-AY-HEEEEEEEEE-HOOOOOO!!
[Catastrophic final hit.]
———
[Outro – Flames settle. The Devil hands back the microphone.]
[Devil]
Not bad.
[Someone]
So… you taking us to Hell?
[Devil]
Hell?
No.
…
I’m staying here.
[Suddenly everyone looks upward.]
[Devil]
What the hell is THAT?
[From impossibly far above.]
Yodel…
ay…
HEEEEEEEEEEEE…
[Everyone slowly looks at the moon.]
[Devil]
…
HAHAHAHA!!!