(Tempo: Slow, melancholic piano or soft finger-picked acoustic guitar. Lots of space between the lines.)
(Verse 1)
I flinched when you reached for the light
The "I’m sorry" was out before I knew why.
I’m waiting for the shift in the air,
For the moment you decide I’m too much to bear.
I’ve spent a lifetime apologizing for the space I take,
For the way that I breathe, for the way that I break.
You’re looking at me with those soft, steady eyes,
While I’m looking for the trap, for the hidden disguise.
(Chorus)
It must be so heavy, loving a girl like me,
Who’s been told her own mind is the enemy.
They used my Bipolar to build me a cage,
Then they’d light the fuse just to watch the rage.
They called me "crazy" until I believed
That I was a burden, that I was diseased.
Now I’m a ghost in a house made of "I’m sorry" and "please,"
Just a girl on her knees, begging for peace.
(Verse 2)
He’d whisper the words that he knew would ignite
The storm in my head in the middle of the night.
Then he’d stand back and watch with a cold, hollow grin,
And say, "There she goes, there’s that 'episode' again."
He’d push me off ledges and blame me for the fall,
Then tell me I’m lucky he loved me at all.
Now I’m scared of the "highs" and I’m scared of the "lows,"
Because that’s where the memory of his cruelty grows.
(Chorus)
It must be so heavy, loving a girl like me,
Who’s been told her own mind is the enemy.
They used my Bipolar to build me a cage,
Then they’d light the fuse just to watch the rage.
They called me "crazy" until I believed
That I was a burden, that I was diseased.
Now I’m a ghost in a house made of "I’m sorry" and "please,"
Just a girl on her knees, begging for peace.
(Bridge)
(Music slows even more, almost a whisper)
I’m waiting for the day that you finally agree...
That I’m too loud, too quiet, too much of a mess to be
The one that you want, the one that you keep.
I’m sorry I’m shaking, I’m sorry I don't sleep.
I’m testing your patience because I don't know
How a person can stay when they’re free to go.
(Guitar/Piano Solo - Delicate, soaring, slightly discordant but beautiful)
(Chorus)
It must be so heavy, loving a girl like me,
Who’s still trying to learn how to finally be free.
They used my Bipolar to keep me in line,
To make me believe that the fault was all mine.
But you hold my hand through the dark and the gray,
And you don't even blink when the "crazy" starts to play.
You’re teaching me how to stop living on my knees,
To stop saying "sorry" and "I’m a burden, please."
(Outro)
(Music fades to a single, repeating note)
I’m not crazy...
I was just cornered.
I’m not "too much"...
I was just too much for him to break.
I’m sorry...
No.
I’m just...
I’m just here.
And you’re still here too.
(Pause)
I think I’m gonna be okay.
