(Verse 1)
I saw the furrow in your brow, just a hint of a frown
And the sky turned charcoal, dragging me down
You didn't yell, you didn't scream, you just sighed my name
But my brain lit a fuse and lit the place in flame
I’m shaking like a leaf in a hurricane wind
Because the idea of you angry is where I begin
To unravel, to sever, to come loose at the seams
Stuck in a nightmare inside of a dream
(Chorus)
I hit the deck at the slightest discontent
My mind goes to war before the sentence is spent
It’s a bipolar panic, a chemical theft
Stealing the oxygen, stealing my breath
I feel the rejection like a knife in the gut
Before you even move, before doors are shut
I’m spiraling up, I’m spiraling down
Terrified I’m about to hit the ground
(Verse 2)
My heart rate triples, the room starts to spin
I’m drowning in air, I can’t sink or swim
It’s not just sadness, it’s not just fear
It’s a maniacal buzz ringing in my ear
"You hate me, you’re leaving, I’ve ruined it all"
My mind is screaming while I stare at the wall
I’m nine years old again, waiting for the blow
Now I’m thirty years old and with nowhere to go
(Bridge)
But I have to fight it, I have to stand
I have to grab hold of my own trembling hand
Look at the table, look at the book
Remind myself that my heart’s still hooked
One, two, three, I’m inhaling slow
I am more than the panic, more than the woe
You’re just frustrated, you’re not walking away
I have to stay in the body, I have to stay
(Guitar Solo - Erratic and nervous, resolving into a steady rhythm)
(Chorus)
I hit the deck at the slightest discontent
My mind goes to war before the sentence is spent
It’s a bipolar panic, a chemical theft
Stealing the oxygen, stealing my breath
I feel the rejection like a knife in the gut
Before you even move, before doors are shut
I’m spiraling up, I’m spiraling down
Terrified I’m about to hit the ground
(Outro)
The fog is lifting, I see your eyes
Please forgive me for the lies
That my head told me when I was lost inside
I’m sorry I panicked, I’m sorry I hide
Just give me a minute.
I’m coming back.
I’m here.